Below is a tweet from Nation Africa on how different teenagers regret having messed up with their teenage lives and the parents’ reactions. Just have a look at it. You may also visit more posts below.
Teengers get influenced not only in relationship but also in fashion. Both boys and girls have their ways of showing off when it comes to trending style. It is good as a parent to understand that this is stage but should be controlled in a friendly manner.
There was a time when the concept of fashion was only relevant on special occasions. Though, it would be pointless to compare the present generation with past generation, but there is a vast difference between the present and the older generation. Fashion is the key word for today’s teenagers. Fashion is everywhere, in fact, fashion has grabbed school going students under its spell as well. The bags they carry, the watches they wear and the way they carry themselves involves so much of fashion.
The teenagers seem to be more fashionable than the adults now. In fact they can be good trendsetters themselves. There are many teens who invent their own styles and aim to become an icon among their groups.
Earlier, fashion used to be found only among the affluent class of people, but now the times have changed. Now, class doesn’t matter on the road to becoming fashionable. In fact, everybody is fashionable these days. We can hardly see anyone on the streets who isn’t fashion conscious.
One of the many factors responsible for the spread and the craze of fashion among people is the Television. Fashion or “style” can be called contagious because people get influenced by one who already is fashion conscious. Being fashion conscious not only makes you popular among your folks but also upgrades your confidence level.
Teenagers are so much focused on fashion that they don’t get sufficient time for other work. Instead of reading textbooks they prefer to read fashion magazines. They try hard to imitate the models. The time they ought to spend in their studies, they spend in watching programmes on TV, reading fashion articles or finding the recent trendy clothes on the web. Other things that influence them are:
1. Peer Pressure
Peer pressure largely affects a teenager’s daily choices on matters like alcohol and drug abuse, fashion and style, the kind of friends one has, as well as academic performance. Peer pressure can either be good or bad.
Research has shown that teenagers will dress in a particular way to stave off mocking and humiliation from peers. They feel that if they dress in inappropriate clothes they could end up losing their friends. You will notice that teenagers will go shopping together or ask for advice on how to dress up for an event, say, a birthday party.
A majority of teenagers are influenced by people around them because they feel that they somehow need to fit in. Duplicating the fashion around them gives them a sense of belonging in today’s world. Teenagers use fashion to keep friendships and bolster their self-esteem by “mirroring”. More often than not, adolescents will dress alike because this provides a sense of affirmation and a sense of belonging to a peer group.
2. Body Image
This issue mostly affects teenage girls. The media and magazines influence, in some way, on a girl’s physical look. For instance, when a skinny model is on the cover of a magazine, the teen will do whatever it takes just to look like them. This has resulted in many lifestyle changes amongst teenage girls and unhealthy approaches such as eating disorders.
Along with their peers, the internet also influences a teenager’s body image issues. Comparing oneself to what you see on the internet can negatively impact body image which is closely related to fashion and style.
3. Media and Magazines
Teenagers use magazines and media to evaluate what the upcoming trends are so that they may know exactly what to buy and what not to buy. Fashion shows/ magazines play a huge role in affecting a teenager’s lifestyle and sense of style as most of them buy clothes after looking through the latest magazines. These magazines affect, in a large way, the selection of a teenager’s clothes.
Most fashion magazines target teenagers, particularly girls. The magazines will put popular celebrities dressed in fancy clothes on the cover to attract the young girls. You will hear her say, “Oh look who it is. I totally have to get that outfit”. These magazines then endorse the stores and companies there the celebrities buy their trendy and latest styles.
Teenagers will idolize the celebrities that they love. They look up to them for some fashion inspiration. When the teenager sees their favorite celebrity dressed in something that they love, they will go and buy the exact same outfit just to look like them. They will then show off the clothes to their friends.
Teenagers watch all types of reality shows to try and keep up with favorite celebrities’ style. They will even look up to the celebrities for hairstyle ideas. Basically, teenagers discover themselves through external stimuli. Celebrities provide the external basis from which the teenagers will benchmark their opinions, thoughts, and associations.
Even though celebrities may not explicitly try to persuade their audience to go with a particular flow, they subconsciously alter their audience’s ideologies. Once a celebrity publicly endorses a piece of clothing, this creates societal acceptance and has a positive impact on the overall brand image.
5. Designer Brands
The adolescents are preoccupied with social acceptance and coolness associated with the clothes they wear. For this reason, teenagers will exhibit a more brand-oriented decision when they go shopping. Most teenagers will go shopping at stores where they sell quality high-end designer clothes.
When teenagers do not have the money to shop at the high-end stores for designer clothes, they get stressed up. They feel that since they cannot afford the clothes they will not look good, and they will not fit in. This is where parents should come in and offer guidance accordingly as this may make the teenagers do crazy things just to try to fit in her or his world.
Unlike earlier times, now the teenagers do not go out with their parents on weekends, rather they plan their outings with their friends. For most of them the prime zones for outings have now become malls because they can do a lot of shopping there in addition to having fun.
There were times when children used to dream of becoming scientists, doctors, engineers or even teachers, but the priority and taste of the children has changed. Most of them desire to be into the glamour world. They find the fashion world better than any other job. In fact, one who is not fashion conscious doesn’t get much importance. One who looks trendy in the first appearance takes away all the limelight.
But it is the duty and responsibility of the parents to keep a watch over their children. They should know whether their children are using most of their time on fashion or their studies. Too much of information regarding recent trends and styles block the minds of the children and distract them from their studies. It’s good to keep yourself updated with fashion but if it interferes in your academic performance, it should be avoided.
Parents should be watchful on the fashion their teens are craving for to make sure their morals and values are not compromised. The should give guidance and support where necessary as this will avoid conflict with the teenagers as they try to identify themselves in the fashion world.
Do you have something you have experienced on teenagers and fashion as you raise them? Feel free to keep the discussion on as you leave a comment.
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What is it? It is a surgical procedure performed on the genitals of girls and women in many communities. It covers a range of procedures which are also referred as female circumcision. The age and time it is practised differs from one community to the other. Though it is highly discouraged by human rights bodies, these communities have reasons why they do it.
Reasons why it is done
- It marks the transition from childhood to womanhood. It is a rite of passage that is intended to impact the skills and information a woman needs to fulfil her duties as a wife and a mother.
- It is believed to reduce sexual desire in a woman. This ensures her virginity is maintained until marriage.
- Certain communities practise for religious reason believing that it is one their faith requirements.
- Some communities consider the private part to be ugly, offensive and dirty thus the removal of some of its part makes the woman more hygenic.As the part is stitched , the size is reduced to please the husband.
- Some do it because they believe that they will have a satisfactory bride prize as the practice makes the woman culturally and socially acceptable in the society.
- Uncircumcised woman is seen as a child hence denied the status, access possession and roles of an adult woman in the community.
Get in touch by following me as I give you the different types of FGM. I would like to hear your opinion. Kindly give your views as you comment. Visit more of my posts
Wondering how to deal with your teenage son? Or how to raise teenage sons in general? Many other parents are also seeking advice for understanding teenage boys.
Raising teenagers isn’t always easy. And teenage boy behavior can be challenging. But teen boys aren’t trying to be difficult.
Rather, their actions and attitudes are the result of physiological and emotional turbulence during the adolescent years. And the question of how to deal with your teenage son becomes easy to answer. What do kids really need? And how can we practice awareness to create authentic connection? See this teenage boy who caused serious accident after stealing his father’s car.
The Basics of How to Deal with Your Teenage Son
A few keys for how to deal with your teenage son: Communicate with him often, do things together as much as possible, and give him unconditional love.
Of course, all that is easier said than done. However, understanding teenage sons may be less of a problem when you’re familiar with the process of adolescent development.
Remember, teen boys are growing in all sorts of ways. Therefore, you can offer compassion and support. Moreover, trying a few new approaches to parenting teen boys can help.
First, let’s look at the growth process that’s taking place in a teenage boy’s body.
What’s Happening in a Teenage Son’s Body and Brain
Teenage boy behavior is controlled in large part by the many hormonal and biological changes that occur during puberty. In boys, puberty starts between 10 and 14 years old. And teenage boys are physically mature around age 15 or 16. Hence, boys grow taller, develop larger muscles, and get deeper voices.
Along with physical changes, teen boys experience emotional and behavioral changes. Teen puberty is an exciting time, full of new emotions and feelings. Therefore, it affects teenage boy behavior as well as their interest in sex and relationships.
Furthermore, the adolescent brain is still developing throughout the teenage years. Moreover, the area of the brain that’s responsible for judgment and decision-making remains under construction. This area, the prefrontal cortex, doesn’t fully mature until the mid-20s. Hence, teen boys are more susceptible to shifting impulses and emotions during teen puberty. How to deal with your teenage son gets complicated.
Five Keys for Dealing with Teenage Boy Behavior:
- Set limits. First, parents and teen boys agree to set rules that both agree on. The rules are based on shared values about staying safe and keeping harmony in the family.
- Write it down. Furthermore, families might consider drafting a written agreement. Therefore, the guidelines and boundaries are clear to everyone.
- Agree on consequences. Next, parents and sons agree on age-appropriate consequences that will go into effect if the rules are broken. For example, a consequence might be loss of car privileges or an earlier curfew. Moreover, the consequence should be age-appropriate.
- Invoke restitution. In addition, parents and teen boys can use a consequence known as restitution or restoration. Hence, teens help make a situation better after violating the shared contract. For example, if they get a speeding ticket, they pay it on their own. Or they take steps to repair a relationship with a sibling after a fight. As a result, a teen can earn back parents’ trust.
- Avoid severe punishment. However, severe punishment is not the best approach for dealing with your teenage son. In fact, punishment can make things worse. Teenage boys may feel rejected and resentful. Hence, they may withdraw further from their parents.
Self-Care in Teenage Boys
Teenage boys are notorious for poor self care. That is, many teen boys don’t sleep enough. In addition, they eat junk food and drink beverages high in sugar. Furthermore, they may not shower or wash on a daily basis. And they might neglect physical exercise—sometimes in favor of screen time.
In part, teen boys’ poor self-care comes from being self-conscious about their changing bodies. The physical development that comes with puberty can trigger body-image and self-esteem issues. Hence, teens don’t know how to deal with body odor, acne, and/or oily hair—all of which can come with puberty.
This teenage boy behavior can be helped by setting routines around healthy eating, exercise, and good sleep hygiene when their son is young. In addition, younger adolescent boys might need basic information about grooming and self-care during puberty. If parents aren’t comfortable sharing this information themselves, they might instead find a book or pamphlet. Subsequently, they can leave it in their son’s room for him to read when he’s ready. No need to make a big deal about it—remember, teen boys are easily embarrassed. Later, at an appropriate time, ask if he has any questions about what he read.
Setting Limits on Screen Time for Teen Boys
What can parents do to help their sons unplug? When kids are younger, parents can set time limits. But that becomes harder to enforce as teens get older.
Therefore, parents need to carve out times with no screens allowed, such as meals and family activities. And they need to model this behavior by staying off their own phones and other devices.
Moreover, after a certain hour of the evening, parents can turn off the WiFi so teens can’t use the Internet. Teens should know this isn’t a punishment. Rather, screen time disturbs sleep. So it’s important to unplug an hour or more before bed to allow the nervous system’s relaxation response to kick in.
In addition, just as with self-care, good habits stick best when they are instilled early. Parents can help teenage boys develop habits that take them away from screens.
Relationships Between Mothers and Sons
As boys grow into teens, their relationships with their mothers can become a little bumpy. That’s because teenage sons and mothers need to create appropriate boundaries. For teen boys, part of maturing is becoming more independent from their mothers. Hence, a teenage son being disrespectful to his mother is a sign that he is pulling away to learn how to care for himself.
Fathers often connect with their teenage sons by doing things together. However, mothers and teenage sons sometimes have fewer interests in common. Therefore, mothers need to find ways to spend time with their teenage sons while also giving them their space, this is an important part of understand teenage sons and their needs.
Communicating with Your Teenage Son
Teen boys aren’t known for their skill in communication. Often, teenage sons find it difficult to put their emotions into words. Understanding teenage sons begins with knowing they may not feel comfortable sharing their innermost thoughts with their parents.
As a result, parents can get frustrated and feel ignored. Instead, try the following approaches.
- Keep it short and sweet. If you have something you need him to know, offer a series of clear points. Subsequently, let him respond to each.
- Don’t overdo the eye contact. While eye contact is often recommended for effective communication, that doesn’t hold true for dealing with your teenage son. Instead, it might overwhelm or intimidate him. For that reason, driving in the car together can be a good time for talking.
- Talk while you’re in action. Many teen boys find it easier to communicate when they’re doing something else at the same time. So have your chat while playing a game, taking a hike, or preparing dinner together.
- Stay calm. When assessing how to deal with your teenage son, don’t let your emotions get the upper hand. Showing anger or frustration may drive him deeper into his shell. As a result, he will be less likely to come to you for support.
- Give him time to process. Many teenage boys need a few hours or even days to think about important conversations. Therefore, don’t be disappointed if your teenage son doesn’t change his behavior or attitude right away. Let him take in the information and then process it in his own time.
Finally, Never Underestimate the Power of Parents
Sometimes parents might feel that their teenage son has no interest in them. But parents shouldn’t let that fool them. How to deal with your teenage son is stay involved, no matter what.
As a result, this ongoing relationship supports teen mental health and decreases substance abuse. Moreover, healthy teen-parent relationships help adolescents grow into strong, independent young adults.
As narrated by (Nancy)
1. You are valuable standing alone! I wasted so much time during my teen years focusing on guys! I felt insignificant and alone without their attention. I wish I would have known that my value is something that I choose to believe in– not something someone gives me. Girls, you are amazing, beautiful, and special right here, right now, just as you are. Don’t ever give in to the pressure to use your body, your words, or your actions in a compromising way just to get his attention. You are enough. Learn to believe that now, because that truth will change your entire life!
2. How you dress will attract a certain kind of guy. I know you get it girls- we all want to catch their eye don’t we? But what we don’t always realize is that when you catch a guy with your body, you’ll have to keep him with your body. There is so much more about who you are than the size of your boobs or the size of your waist. Learn to respect yourself, and accentuate the beauty of your heart, your mind, and your spirit. Because those are exactly the kind of things that will snag a really good man.
3. Your parents might not always get it, but they usually know what’s good for you. I know it’s hard to believe now, because it seems like they are so far removed from what you’re going through, but one thing I wish I would have done during my teen years is actually pay more attention to what my parents were saying. They knew me and loved me better than I even knew and loved myself, and the limits they set were almost always for my good. Now that I have children, I see that more than I ever could have imagined. I wish I would have trusted them more.
4. Hang in there; no matter how bad it feels right now, it will pass. If you thought the last lesson was hard to believe, this one’s even harder. I get it –that breakup, those betraying friends, the gossip that’s going around about you– can feel like the most devastating things in the moment. But as hard as they are, and as bad as you may feel, believe me: IT WILL PASS. Don’t be afraid to cry out for help, to talk to someone you love, and to reach out. But always remember that you are strong, you are capable, and you will get through this. Don’t give it the power to ruin your life.
5. You teach people how they are allowed to treat you. I have to admit, I’m still learning this one at times. But the truth is, you have more control than you could even imagine. You are allowed to walk away, to distance yourself, and to put a stop to those people who are treating you poorly. Teach people how they can treat you, by setting your standards high. You owe it to yourself.
6. Don’t care so much about what people think. It’s easy to place our value in what people think of us, but we’ll find ourselves on a never-ending emotional roller coaster when we realize we will never, ever make everyone happy. Love life, make good choices, do the right thing, and always live for an audience of One.
7. The road less traveled is usually the right one. I remember saying NO to so many things that everyone else seemed to be saying YES to. I can’t even tell you how hard that was at times, and how much I wanted to give in to that pressure. But now that I’m here, I look back and I can’t even thank God enough for helping me choose the road less traveled, and making good choices even when it was hard. Just because everyone’s doing it, doesn’t mean it’s good. I’m glad I didn’t have to learn that the hard way.
8. Your body doesn’t define you–you define yourself. Teen or not, this is something we wrestle with as girls on and off throughout our lives. But the truth is, we can’t let our bodies define us, because we have the power to define ourselves. Take the time to love yourself, to focus on your strengths, and to be grateful for the body God has given you. And then remember: You are the daughter of A King – live like it!
9. Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken. I remember trying so hard to fit in to places and people that I was never meant to fit. It took a while to find myself after losing myself in the crowd of everyone I was trying to be. But I finally learned to embrace myself, love my personality, and appreciate my quirks. God made you special just the way you are- so be yourself.
10. God has an amazing plan for your life, but it’s up to you to choose it. I think it’s easy to forget that good things can really happen. It’s easy to be filled with fears and worries in the moment, and doubt God’s great plans and purpose for our life. Sometimes we settle for an okay life, because we don’t believe there’s something better. But beautiful girls, you are destined for great things! Believe it, and then live it…
Romantic relationships are a major developmental milestone. They come with all the other changes going on during adolescence – physical, social and emotional. And they’re linked to your child’s growing interest in body image and looks, independence and privacy. The idea that your child might have these kinds of feelings can sometimes be a bit confronting for you. But these feelings are leading your child towards a deeper capacity to care, share and develop intimate relationships.
When teenage relationships start
There isn’t a ‘right age’ to start having relationships – every child is different, and every family will feel differently about this issue. But here are some averages:
- From 9-11 years, your child might start to show more independence from your family and more interest in friends.
- From 10-14 years, your child might want to spend more time in mixed gender groups, which might eventually end up in a romantic relationship.
- From 15-19 years, romantic relationships can become central to social life. Friendships might become deeper and more stable.
Many teenagers spend a lot of time thinking and talking about being in a relationship. In these years, teenage relationships might last only a few weeks or months. It’s also normal for children to have no interest in romantic relationships until their late teens. Some choose to focus on schoolwork, sport or other interests.
Early teenage relationships
Younger teenagers usually hang out together in groups. If the person your child is interested in is older or younger, it could be worth mentioning that people of different ages might want different things from relationships.The most influential role models for teenagers are the grown-ups . Just talking about both men and women respectfully lets your child know you think everyone is equal and valuable.
Talking about teenage relationships with your child
Your family plays a big part in the way your child thinks about teenage relationships.
When you encourage conversations about feelings, friendships and family relationships, it can help your child feel confident to talk about teenage relationships in general. If your child knows what respectful relationships look like in general, she can relate this directly to romantic relationships.
These conversations might mean that your child will feel more comfortable sharing his feelings with you as he starts to get romantically interested in others. And the conversations can also bring up other important topics, like treating other people kindly, breaking up kindly and respecting other people’s boundaries.
Having conversations with your child about sex and relationships from a young age might mean your child feels more comfortable to ask you questions as she moves into adolescence.
In some ways, talking about romantic and/or sexual teenage relationships is like talking about friendships or going to a party. Depending on your values and family rules, you and your child might need to discuss behaviour and ground rules, and consequences for breaking the rules. For example, you might talk about how much time your child spends with his girlfriend or boyfriend versus how much time he spends studying, or whether it’s OK for his girlfriend or boyfriend to stay over.
You might also want to agree on some strategies for what your child should do if she feels unsafe or threatened.
Young people might also talk to their friends, which is healthy and normal. They still need your back-up, though, so keeping the lines of communication open is important.
Sex and teenage relationships
If your child is in a relationship, it can bring up questions about sex and intimacy.
Not all teenage relationships include sex, but most teenagers will experiment with sexual behaviour at some stage. This is why your child need information on sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
This could also be your chance to talk together about dealing with unwanted sexual and peer pressure. If you keep the lines of communication open and let your child know that you’re there to listen, he’ll be more likely to come to you with questions and concerns.
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Today they are, tomorrow they will be.The Parents in the making – Ciscas
Just recently, an NGO gave alarming data on numbers of teenage girls expecting to give birth soon. According to Citizen TV, this young girl gave birth to triplets. Guess who is responsible…a 13 year old boy..where are we heading to..what does law say about such incidents…
Educate a girl and you have educated the whole nation.
Sometimes teenagers tend to be a bit stubborn. If you have been having problem to relate with your teens, then you are not alone. Many parents are struggling to raise the young boys and girls. The video below will give you some hints.