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How I made it (epi4)

So far so good, I hope you have been enjoying the story. Let’s know what happened after the hospital incident. Kindly share it with your friends….For those who missed the last episodes, I have catered for you here

” Who else could have given out my contact to the hospital staff?” I interrogated myself paying more attention to the man. The doctor uncovered him slightly to show me more parts that were injured. This is the time I discovered that it was Hopekins- my former classmate. This was the last thing that could come to my mind. I couldn’t help it. He was just fine the day before and now unconscious. He couldn’t talk to me. I tried calling him but nothing gave me hope. I cried helplessly as I sat at the edge of his hospital bed.

Last time I was with him, we didn’t talk much. We had agreed on meeting again and share more over a cup of coffee. Now this was not to be. It would take time before he recovers. I wanted to know what he had been doing since the time we parted ways after forth form.

Just then, the nurse entered the room.”Madam, we would like to give the patient more time to rest. Kindly leave and come back tomorrow. I am sure that he will be okay.” She changed his bedding as I walked out having nothing else I could do.

It was already late to go back to the office. I wanted to know whether Bryan reported to work. So I decided to call him but the phone call couldn’t go through. It bothered me so much that I felt exhausted with all the day’s events. At first I thought it was Bryan who was at the hospital. Where could he be? The last episode will him made me feel unsafe. By the time I was getting to the house, I was too tired to do anything else apart from jumping in my bed and before I new it, I was deep asleep.

It was now around 8am the following day. Hopekins could slightly move his hands. His open eyes could gaze at me without recognizing me. It was so sad seeing him in a such State. I had to rush to the office and so I excused myself. I promised the nurse that I would be coming back to check on him.

Reaching at the office, I noted there was an envelope on the table. It must be Bryan! What could it be? I took the envelope, got the letter and started reading.

Dear Sarah, it is with a heavy heart that I write this letter. I didn’t find a better way of saying it. I am sorry to say that Bryan………

Hope you don’t want to miss the next episode….. follow me…..want to give your opinion….. comment…. for more…get it here

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Why we need ‘sex awareness’ for our children

For a long time, talking about sex especially in front of children has been considered as a taboo. Questions that were asked by children like – where do children come from? Was always brushed off or given a wrong answer all together. Some parents could give answers such as: they were bought from the hospital, an aeroplane brought the baby and many more. How was your community responding to this queries? Kindly let’s know by commenting.

This behaviour has kept the children naive until their world was engulfed with online stuff. Here, they can get all the answers they want though some have been so misleading. Some children have gone further by practising what they see on social media. Others got influenced by peers or celebrities.

No matter how we denie them access to information, there is always a way out.

So, what next? It is good to let them know what to expect from their surrounding may it physical or virtual and the consequences of getting involved with some stuff.

Though they say ignorance has no defense, some of these children get to the traps unknowingly. This attitude of hiding the real life to them is getting them off guard. Having nothing they can use to their defense not even little knowledge on what would happen to them incase they find themselves in trouble.

Unfortunately, our keeping quiet does not make them not to try out what they watch and see online or in social media. I feel it is important we educate them on some issues. Here I am having a talk on sexual misuse explaining why and when not to get involved.

On sex relationship with relatives and animals, it has been happening and it’s time we call a spade a spade. Let’s put everything in black and white. We should not continue hiding our heads in the sand while our young ones are drowning. When these issues are reported by media, we tend to ignore but the truth is our children are getting notes out of them.

I felt there is a need to sensitize them through the video…watch, like and share them to Help me reach more of them.

For more on teenage life and parenting, visit my previous posts here.

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Raising a teenage boy – ciscasquapro

Wondering how to deal with your teenage son? Or how to raise teenage sons in general? Many other parents are also seeking advice for understanding teenage boys.

Raising teenagers isn’t always easy. And teenage boy behavior can be challenging. But teen boys aren’t trying to be difficult.

Rather, their actions and attitudes are the result of physiological and emotional turbulence during the adolescent years. And the question of how to deal with your teenage son becomes easy to answer. What do kids really need? And how can we practice awareness to create authentic connection? See this teenage boy who caused serious accident after stealing his father’s car.

The Basics of How to Deal with Your Teenage Son

A few keys for how to deal with your teenage son: Communicate with him often, do things together as much as possible, and give him unconditional love.

Of course, all that is easier said than done. However, understanding teenage sons may be less of a problem when you’re familiar with the process of adolescent development.

Remember, teen boys are growing in all sorts of ways. Therefore, you can offer compassion and support. Moreover, trying a few new approaches to parenting teen boys can help.

First, let’s look at the growth process that’s taking place in a teenage boy’s body.

What’s Happening in a Teenage Son’s Body and Brain

Teenage boy behavior is controlled in large part by the many hormonal and biological changes that occur during puberty. In boys, puberty starts between 10 and 14 years old. And teenage boys are physically mature around age 15 or 16. Hence, boys grow taller, develop larger muscles, and get deeper voices.

Along with physical changes, teen boys experience emotional and behavioral changes. Teen puberty is an exciting time, full of new emotions and feelings. Therefore, it affects teenage boy behavior as well as their interest in sex and relationships.

Furthermore, the adolescent brain is still developing throughout the teenage years. Moreover, the area of the brain that’s responsible for judgment and decision-making remains under construction. This area, the prefrontal cortex, doesn’t fully mature until the mid-20s. Hence, teen boys are more susceptible to shifting impulses and emotions during teen puberty. How to deal with your teenage son gets complicated.

Five Keys for Dealing with Teenage Boy Behavior:

  • Set limits. First, parents and teen boys agree to set rules that both agree on. The rules are based on shared values about staying safe and keeping harmony in the family.
  • Write it down. Furthermore, families might consider drafting a written agreement. Therefore, the guidelines and boundaries are clear to everyone.
  • Agree on consequences. Next, parents and sons agree on age-appropriate consequences that will go into effect if the rules are broken. For example, a consequence might be loss of car privileges or an earlier curfew. Moreover, the consequence should be age-appropriate.
  • Invoke restitution. In addition, parents and teen boys can use a consequence known as restitution or restoration. Hence, teens help make a situation better after violating the shared contract. For example, if they get a speeding ticket, they pay it on their own. Or they take steps to repair a relationship with a sibling after a fight. As a result, a teen can earn back parents’ trust.
  • Avoid severe punishment. However, severe punishment is not the best approach for dealing with your teenage son. In fact, punishment can make things worse. Teenage boys may feel rejected and resentful. Hence, they may withdraw further from their parents.

Self-Care in Teenage Boys

Teenage boys are notorious for poor self care. That is, many teen boys don’t sleep enough. In addition, they eat junk food and drink beverages high in sugar. Furthermore, they may not shower or wash on a daily basis. And they might neglect physical exercise—sometimes in favor of screen time.

In part, teen boys’ poor self-care comes from being self-conscious about their changing bodies. The physical development that comes with puberty can trigger body-image and self-esteem issues. Hence, teens don’t know how to deal with body odor, acne, and/or oily hair—all of which can come with puberty.

This teenage boy behavior can be helped by setting routines around healthy eating, exercise, and good sleep hygiene when their son is young. In addition, younger adolescent boys might need basic information about grooming and self-care during puberty. If parents aren’t comfortable sharing this information themselves, they might instead find a book or pamphlet. Subsequently, they can leave it in their son’s room for him to read when he’s ready. No need to make a big deal about it—remember, teen boys are easily embarrassed. Later, at an appropriate time, ask if he has any questions about what he read.

Setting Limits on Screen Time for Teen Boys

What can parents do to help their sons unplug? When kids are younger, parents can set time limits. But that becomes harder to enforce as teens get older.

Therefore, parents need to carve out times with no screens allowed, such as meals and family activities. And they need to model this behavior by staying off their own phones and other devices.

Moreover, after a certain hour of the evening, parents can turn off the WiFi so teens can’t use the Internet. Teens should know this isn’t a punishment. Rather, screen time disturbs sleep. So it’s important to unplug an hour or more before bed to allow the nervous system’s relaxation response to kick in.

In addition, just as with self-care, good habits stick best when they are instilled early. Parents can help teenage boys develop habits that take them away from screens.

Relationships Between Mothers and Sons

As boys grow into teens, their relationships with their mothers can become a little bumpy. That’s because teenage sons and mothers need to create appropriate boundaries. For teen boys, part of maturing is becoming more independent from their mothers. Hence, a teenage son being disrespectful to his mother is a sign that he is pulling away to learn how to care for himself.

Fathers often connect with their teenage sons by doing things together. However, mothers and teenage sons sometimes have fewer interests in common. Therefore, mothers need to find ways to spend time with their teenage sons while also giving them their space, this is an important part of understand teenage sons and their needs.

Communicating with Your Teenage Son

Teen boys aren’t known for their skill in communication. Often, teenage sons find it difficult to put their emotions into words. Understanding teenage sons begins with knowing they may not feel comfortable sharing their innermost thoughts with their parents.

As a result, parents can get frustrated and feel ignored. Instead, try the following approaches.

  • Keep it short and sweet. If you have something you need him to know, offer a series of clear points. Subsequently, let him respond to each.
  • Don’t overdo the eye contact. While eye contact is often recommended for effective communication, that doesn’t hold true for dealing with your teenage son. Instead, it might overwhelm or intimidate him. For that reason, driving in the car together can be a good time for talking.
  • Talk while you’re in action. Many teen boys find it easier to communicate when they’re doing something else at the same time. So have your chat while playing a game, taking a hike, or preparing dinner together.
  • Stay calm. When assessing how to deal with your teenage son, don’t let your emotions get the upper hand. Showing anger or frustration may drive him deeper into his shell. As a result, he will be less likely to come to you for support.
  • Give him time to process. Many teenage boys need a few hours or even days to think about important conversations. Therefore, don’t be disappointed if your teenage son doesn’t change his behavior or attitude right away. Let him take in the information and then process it in his own time.

Finally, Never Underestimate the Power of Parents

Sometimes parents might feel that their teenage son has no interest in them. But parents shouldn’t let that fool them. How to deal with your teenage son is stay involved, no matter what.

As a result, this ongoing relationship supports teen mental health and decreases substance abuse. Moreover, healthy teen-parent relationships help adolescents grow into strong, independent young adults.

It is always good to maintain discipline and give the right chores according to the age.

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Teenagers’ relationships: when and how to talk about it – Ciscas

Romantic relationships are a major developmental milestone. They come with all the other changes going on during adolescence – physical, social and emotional. And they’re linked to your child’s growing interest in body image and looks, independence and privacy. The idea that your child might have these kinds of feelings can sometimes be a bit confronting for you. But these feelings are leading your child towards a deeper capacity to care, share and develop intimate relationships.

When teenage relationships start

There isn’t a ‘right age’ to start having relationships – every child is different, and every family will feel differently about this issue. But here are some averages:

  • From 9-11 years, your child might start to show more independence from your family and more interest in friends.
  • From 10-14 years, your child might want to spend more time in mixed gender groups, which might eventually end up in a romantic relationship.
  • From 15-19 years, romantic relationships can become central to social life. Friendships might become deeper and more stable.

Many teenagers spend a lot of time thinking and talking about being in a relationship. In these years, teenage relationships might last only a few weeks or months. It’s also normal for children to have no interest in romantic relationships until their late teens. Some choose to focus on schoolwork, sport or other interests.

Early teenage relationships

Younger teenagers usually hang out together in groups. If the person your child is interested in is older or younger, it could be worth mentioning that people of different ages might want different things from relationships.The most influential role models for teenagers are the grown-ups . Just talking about both men and women respectfully lets your child know you think everyone is equal and valuable.

Talking about teenage relationships with your child

Your family plays a big part in the way your child thinks about teenage relationships.

When you encourage conversations about feelings, friendships and family relationships, it can help your child feel confident to talk about teenage relationships in general. If your child knows what respectful relationships look like in general, she can relate this directly to romantic relationships.

These conversations might mean that your child will feel more comfortable sharing his feelings with you as he starts to get romantically interested in others. And the conversations can also bring up other important topics, like treating other people kindly, breaking up kindly and respecting other people’s boundaries.

Having conversations with your child about sex and relationships from a young age might mean your child feels more comfortable to ask you questions as she moves into adolescence.

In some ways, talking about romantic and/or sexual teenage relationships is like talking about friendships or going to a party. Depending on your values and family rules, you and your child might need to discuss behaviour and ground rules, and consequences for breaking the rules. For example, you might talk about how much time your child spends with his girlfriend or boyfriend versus how much time he spends studying, or whether it’s OK for his girlfriend or boyfriend to stay over.

You might also want to agree on some strategies for what your child should do if she feels unsafe or threatened.

Young people might also talk to their friends, which is healthy and normal. They still need your back-up, though, so keeping the lines of communication open is important.

Sex and teenage relationships

If your child is in a relationship, it can bring up questions about sex and intimacy.

Not all teenage relationships include sex, but most teenagers will experiment with sexual behaviour at some stage. This is why your child need information on sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

This could also be your chance to talk together about dealing with unwanted sexual and peer pressure. If you keep the lines of communication open and let your child know that you’re there to listen, he’ll be more likely to come to you with questions and concerns.

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