It is hard to believe that a member of a family can abuse a child of their own. To some of the culture, this can bring a lot of misfortune in someone’s life. Abuse of a child by a family member has become a common thing in today’s life.
We have heard mothers and fathers killing their own children. Others abuse them physically, emotionally and even sexually. Some relatives such as uncles, aunts brothers and sisters have turned to be monsters to the children they are supposed to care for.
But the question is, why do these members abuse the child? Though this should not give a justification to child abuse, some factors contributed to it. Some of them are:
Mental health problems
Use of harmful substances such as drugs
Let’s all try and manage stress as this contribute more to child abuse. Families should protect the children and give them the support they need. If one feel the frustrations are too much, just visit a specialist instead of taking it out to children.
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Romantic relationships are a major developmental milestone. They come with all the other changes going on during adolescence – physical, social and emotional. And they’re linked to your child’s growing interest in body image and looks, independence and privacy. The idea that your child might have these kinds of feelings can sometimes be a bit confronting for you. But these feelings are leading your child towards a deeper capacity to care, share and develop intimate relationships.
When teenage relationships start
There isn’t a ‘right age’ to start having relationships – every child is different, and every family will feel differently about this issue. But here are some averages:
From 9-11 years, your child might start to show more independence from your family and more interest in friends.
From 10-14 years, your child might want to spend more time in mixed gender groups, which might eventually end up in a romantic relationship.
From 15-19 years, romantic relationships can become central to social life. Friendships might become deeper and more stable.
Many teenagers spend a lot of time thinking and talking about being in a relationship. In these years, teenage relationships might last only a few weeks or months. It’s also normal for children to have no interest in romantic relationships until their late teens. Some choose to focus on schoolwork, sport or other interests.
Early teenage relationships
Younger teenagers usually hang out together in groups. If the person your child is interested in is older or younger, it could be worth mentioning that people of different ages might want different things from relationships.The most influential role models for teenagers are the grown-ups . Just talking about both men and women respectfully lets your child know you think everyone is equal and valuable.
Talking about teenage relationships with your child
Your family plays a big part in the way your child thinks about teenage relationships.
When you encourage conversations about feelings, friendships and family relationships, it can help your child feel confident to talk about teenage relationships in general. If your child knows what respectful relationships look like in general, she can relate this directly to romantic relationships.
These conversations might mean that your child will feel more comfortable sharing his feelings with you as he starts to get romantically interested in others. And the conversations can also bring up other important topics, like treating other people kindly, breaking up kindly and respecting other people’s boundaries.
Having conversations with your child about sex and relationships from a young age might mean your child feels more comfortable to ask you questions as she moves into adolescence.
In some ways, talking about romantic and/or sexual teenage relationships is like talking about friendships or going to a party. Depending on your values and family rules, you and your child might need to discuss behaviour and ground rules, and consequences for breaking the rules. For example, you might talk about how much time your child spends with his girlfriend or boyfriend versus how much time he spends studying, or whether it’s OK for his girlfriend or boyfriend to stay over.
You might also want to agree on some strategies for what your child should do if she feels unsafe or threatened.
Young people might also talk to their friends, which is healthy and normal. They still need your back-up, though, so keeping the lines of communication open is important.
Sex and teenage relationships
If your child is in a relationship, it can bring up questions about sex and intimacy.
Not all teenage relationships include sex, but most teenagers will experiment with sexual behaviour at some stage. This is why your child need information on sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
This could also be your chance to talk together about dealing with unwanted sexual and peer pressure. If you keep the lines of communication open and let your child know that you’re there to listen, he’ll be more likely to come to you with questions and concerns.
Children can help out around the house in many different ways. For example, they can simply go outside to play when the grown-ups need to do big jobs in the house. Some families expect older children to help with younger children – amusing them, distracting them, protecting them and so on.
Here are some ideas for chores for children of different ages.
Toddlers (2-3 years)
Pick up toys and books.
Put clothes on clothes hooks.
Set placemats on the dinner table.
Preschoolers (4-5 years)
Set the table for meals.
Help with preparing meals, under supervision.
Help put clean clothes into piles for each family member, ready to fold.
Help with grocery shopping and putting away groceries.
Hand you wet clothes to be hung out to dry.
School-age children (6-8 years)
Water the garden and indoor plants.
Clean the bathroom sink, wipe down kitchen benches, mop floors or take out rubbish.
Help hang out clothes and fold washing.
Put away crockery and cutlery.
Help with choosing meals and shopping.
Help with meal preparation and serving, under supervision.
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Children can learn a lot from doing household chores. Here is a video on children and house chores…for more of such…just subscribe..
Doing chores helps children learn about what they need to do to care for themselves, a home and a family. They learn skills they can use in their adult lives, like preparing meals, cleaning, organising and keeping a garden.
Being involved in chores also gives children experience of relationship skills like communicating clearly, negotiating, cooperating and working as a team.
When children contribute to family life, it helps them feel competent and responsible. Even if they don’t enjoy the chore, when they keep going they get the feeling of satisfaction that comes with finishing a task.
And sharing housework can also help families work better and reduce family stress. When children help out, chores get done sooner, and parents have less to do. This frees up time for the family to spend doing fun things together.
How to involve the child
The secret for involving children in household chores is asking for contributions that you value and that suit your children’s ages and abilities. A chore that’s too hard for a child can be frustrating – or even dangerous – and one that’s too easy might be boring.
Even a young child can start to help out if you choose activities that are right for his age. You can start with simple jobs like looking after his own toys. Chores like this send the message to your child that his contribution is important.
It’s also important to think about chores or tasks that get your child involved in caring for the family as a whole. A simple one is getting your child to help with setting or clearing the table. Jobs like these are likely to give your child a sense of responsibility and participation.
If your child is old enough, you can have a family discussion about chores. This can reinforce the idea that the whole family contributes to how the household runs. Children over six years old can help decide which chores they’d prefer.
You can motivate your child to get involved in chores by:
doing the chore together until your child is ready to do it on her own
being clear about what each person’s chores are for each day or week – write them down so they’re easy to remember
talking about why it’s great that a particular job has been done
showing an interest in how your child has done the job.
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