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Watch “THEY BURIED MY BLOOD SISTER ALIVE FOR GETTING SAVED AND KILLED MY MUM WITH AN AXE. ADAM HAJI” on YouTube

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Adobe Scan Sep 21, 2020 (1).pdf

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Why members of a family abuse the child

It is hard to believe that a member of a family can abuse a child of their own. To some of the culture, this can bring a lot of misfortune in someone’s life. Abuse of a child by a family member has become a common thing in today’s life.

We have heard mothers and fathers killing their own children. Others abuse them physically, emotionally and even sexually. Some relatives such as uncles, aunts brothers and sisters have turned to be monsters to the children they are supposed to care for.

But the question is, why do these members abuse the child? Though this should not give a justification to child abuse, some factors contributed to it. Some of them are:

  • Stress
  • Frustrations
  • Poverty
  • Unemployment
  • Illiteracy
  • Mental health problems
  • Use of harmful substances such as drugs

Let’s all try and manage stress as this contribute more to child abuse. Families should protect the children and give them the support they need. If one feel the frustrations are too much, just visit a specialist instead of taking it out to children.

Let us protect our own. For more articles read here . You opinions are welcome as you leave a comment. You can also follow me to be sure of getting the hottest news.

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Single mother’s relationship – Ciscasquapro

From a concerned parent:

I am a single mother of three children. First born is 19 years, second born 16 years and the only girl, last born is 12 years. I have raised them all by myself. I have a job and so I am able to meet their needs.

A year ago I met a man in my life whom I feel it’s more than a friendship. He is a widower with two children who are above 20years and we are planning to move together as a husband and a wife. My worry is my children who are teenagers. I don’t know how to approach them. I fear their reaction.

I feel I need someone to love me as a husband but I am worried on the reaction of my kids. How will I tell them that we will be moving in with a man who will be their dad? Moving from my house to the man’s house and stay as a family? If you come across this lines, kindly advise.

Yours concerned mother

Have you ever experienced such a scenario? Or if it were you what could you have done? Let’s help the worried mother through the chat.

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Miserable Teenager’s life

Below is a tweet from Nation Africa on how different teenagers regret having messed up with their teenage lives and the parents’ reactions. Just have a look at it. You may also visit more posts below.

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Teenagers and fashion – Ciscasquapro

Teengers get influenced not only in relationship but also in fashion. Both boys and girls have their ways of showing off when it comes to trending style. It is good as a parent to understand that this is stage but should be controlled in a friendly manner.

There was a time when the concept of fashion was only relevant on special occasions. Though, it would be pointless to compare the present generation with past generation, but there is a vast difference between the present and the older generation. Fashion is the key word for today’s teenagers. Fashion is everywhere, in fact, fashion has grabbed school going students under its spell as well. The bags they carry, the watches they wear and the way they carry themselves involves so much of fashion.

The teenagers seem to be more fashionable than the adults now. In fact they can be good trendsetters themselves. There are many teens who invent their own styles and aim to become an icon among their groups.

Earlier, fashion used to be found only among the affluent class of people, but now the times have changed. Now, class doesn’t matter on the road to becoming fashionable. In fact, everybody is fashionable these days. We can hardly see anyone on the streets who isn’t fashion conscious.

One of the many factors responsible for the spread and the craze of fashion among people is the Television. Fashion or “style” can be called contagious because people get influenced by one who already is fashion conscious. Being fashion conscious not only makes you popular among your folks but also upgrades your confidence level.

Teenagers are so much focused on fashion that they don’t get sufficient time for other work. Instead of reading textbooks they prefer to read fashion magazines. They try hard to imitate the models. The time they ought to spend in their studies, they spend in watching programmes on TV, reading fashion articles or finding the recent trendy clothes on the web. Other things that influence them are:

1. Peer Pressure
Peer pressure largely affects a teenager’s daily choices on matters like alcohol and drug abuse, fashion and style, the kind of friends one has, as well as academic performance. Peer pressure can either be good or bad.

Research has shown that teenagers will dress in a particular way to stave off mocking and humiliation from peers. They feel that if they dress in inappropriate clothes they could end up losing their friends. You will notice that teenagers will go shopping together or ask for advice on how to dress up for an event, say, a birthday party.
A majority of teenagers are influenced by people around them because they feel that they somehow need to fit in. Duplicating the fashion around them gives them a sense of belonging in today’s world. Teenagers use fashion to keep friendships and bolster their self-esteem by “mirroring”. More often than not, adolescents will dress alike because this provides a sense of affirmation and a sense of belonging to a peer group.

2. Body Image
This issue mostly affects teenage girls. The media and magazines influence, in some way, on a girl’s physical look. For instance, when a skinny model is on the cover of a magazine, the teen will do whatever it takes just to look like them. This has resulted in many lifestyle changes amongst teenage girls and unhealthy approaches such as eating disorders.

Along with their peers, the internet also influences a teenager’s body image issues. Comparing oneself to what you see on the internet can negatively impact body image which is closely related to fashion and style.

3. Media and Magazines
Teenagers use magazines and media to evaluate what the upcoming trends are so that they may know exactly what to buy and what not to buy. Fashion shows/ magazines play a huge role in affecting a teenager’s lifestyle and sense of style as most of them buy clothes after looking through the latest magazines. These magazines affect, in a large way, the selection of a teenager’s clothes.

Most fashion magazines target teenagers, particularly girls. The magazines will put popular celebrities dressed in fancy clothes on the cover to attract the young girls. You will hear her say, “Oh look who it is. I totally have to get that outfit”. These magazines then endorse the stores and companies there the celebrities buy their trendy and latest styles.

4. Celebrities
Teenagers will idolize the celebrities that they love. They look up to them for some fashion inspiration. When the teenager sees their favorite celebrity dressed in something that they love, they will go and buy the exact same outfit just to look like them. They will then show off the clothes to their friends.

Teenagers watch all types of reality shows to try and keep up with favorite celebrities’ style. They will even look up to the celebrities for hairstyle ideas. Basically, teenagers discover themselves through external stimuli. Celebrities provide the external basis from which the teenagers will benchmark their opinions, thoughts, and associations.
Even though celebrities may not explicitly try to persuade their audience to go with a particular flow, they subconsciously alter their audience’s ideologies. Once a celebrity publicly endorses a piece of clothing, this creates societal acceptance and has a positive impact on the overall brand image.

5. Designer Brands
The adolescents are preoccupied with social acceptance and coolness associated with the clothes they wear. For this reason, teenagers will exhibit a more brand-oriented decision when they go shopping. Most teenagers will go shopping at stores where they sell quality high-end designer clothes.

When teenagers do not have the money to shop at the high-end stores for designer clothes, they get stressed up. They feel that since they cannot afford the clothes they will not look good, and they will not fit in. This is where parents should come in and offer guidance accordingly as this may make the teenagers do crazy things just to try to fit in her or his world.

Unlike earlier times, now the teenagers do not go out with their parents on weekends, rather they plan their outings with their friends. For most of them the prime zones for outings have now become malls because they can do a lot of shopping there in addition to having fun.

There were times when children used to dream of becoming scientists, doctors, engineers or even teachers, but the priority and taste of the children has changed. Most of them desire to be into the glamour world. They find the fashion world better than any other job. In fact, one who is not fashion conscious doesn’t get much importance. One who looks trendy in the first appearance takes away all the limelight.

But it is the duty and responsibility of the parents to keep a watch over their children. They should know whether their children are using most of their time on fashion or their studies. Too much of information regarding recent trends and styles block the minds of the children and distract them from their studies. It’s good to keep yourself updated with fashion but if it interferes in your academic performance, it should be avoided.

Parents should be watchful on the fashion their teens are craving for to make sure their morals and values are not compromised. The should give guidance and support where necessary as this will avoid conflict with the teenagers as they try to identify themselves in the fashion world.

Do you have something you have experienced on teenagers and fashion as you raise them? Feel free to keep the discussion on as you leave a comment.

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How I made it (epi 5)

From the previous episode, the letter continues……

…. won’t be reporting to duty today. I understand that he was arrested after getting involved in hit and run accident. He is remanded at Central Police Station.

From his friend

Things became more complicated to me. The letter was written by his friend. That meant he had given him the keys to access the office. Could it be that Bryan was involved in the Hopekins accident? He didn’t drive and this made me more confused. Could he have hired a cab? And if yes, what was his motive? I decided to rush to the police station and get the real picture of the matter.

He looked devastated. “Bryan, why did you do it? We could have solved the matter in more civilized manner!” I shouted angrily.

He didn’t bother to say a word leave alone to face me. I new my harshness won’t bear any fruits and so I had to control myself.

After sometime, he was ready to talk but the only thing he said was, ” It was an accident. I didn’t mean to do it. Please forgive me. I hope Hopekins is still alive. Kindly let him know that am sorry for what happened.”

“You almost killed him! He is now in critical condition just because of your jealousy. I had told you earlier that Hopekins is just a friend like any other classmate, but you didn’t want to believe me. Now see what you have done. He is in the hospital while you are locked in here. I don’t know whether to be at the office, hospital or police station.” I had a lot to tell him if it were not for the policeman who interrupted, ” Madam the visiting time is over. Kindly leave the station”

Bryan was sentenced to three months imprisonment. Life behind bars was not easy for him. His regrets could not save him neither his remorsefulness.

Hopekins was recuperating and after a month, he had improved and was released to go home under medication. I took him in as he needed a lot of care before he could recover completely.

It didn’t take long and after a few weeks from the hospital, he was able to undertake most of his duties. We could go to the office together. I was happy that he was able to assist in some areas now that Bryan was still at bay. We also agreed to be visiting Bryan at the prison together.

It was our first day to visit him and we didn’t know how his response would be. Immediately we were ushered in, he was called to meet us. I could tell that Hopekins was tensed.

“You have fifteen minutes only,” the officer commanded. I had stayed a while without visiting him as I had to take care of Hopekins and the the office duties too. At first I didn’t recognize him. His body had really changed. I didn’t know whether to sympathize or to judge.

He looked at us without saying a word. It was obvious that he didn’t expect to see Hopekins there. We couldn’t guess his next move untill the time he broke the silence……..What did he say? Catch the next episode. I would like to hear from you. Kindly leave a comment. You can as well follow me to be sure not to miss the next episode! Read other posts here.

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#Throwback Thursday #TBT – Ciscasquapro

When did you get to know the meaning of this slogan? To be sincere at first, it really confused me especially when the initials were used. Now that I can relate it very well, I must say I love it when those memories come back to live.

The goodies that came with the youthful age, the music that had a lot of meaning in it, the weird photo shoots and the list is long.

How do you spend your Throwback Thursday? Let’s get it as you comment. Would you like to see my other posts? Get them here.

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Teachers and Digital learning – Ciscasquapro

The Coronavirus pandemic has brought a lot of changes in our daily lives. More so to education sector where most of learning is being done through online classes. The teachers are therefore supposed to be well equipped with technology to be able to facilitate the lessons.

As I stated in my previous post on challenges of digital learning, teaching online has been difficult to some of the teachers who are not conversant with the use of computers. Remember this was not part of their training and so it calls for the teachers’ effort to equip themselves with the skills. This has brought some hiccups in online classes.

So it is good for those teachers to put some effort and embrace the change by enrolling to computer classes too as this will help them to understand what they need to administer to the learners.

They should not shy off from getting some insights from the young generation which may be well conversant in the area.

By this doing, our children will have competent teachers who are able to deliver the content in every situation.

Do you have any opinion on the above? Let’s share it as you leave your comment.

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Importance of Child’s Safety

As the children are still at home in Kenya, very few bother the risks they are exposed to. Some don’t care about the safety precautions on Covid 19. Others hangout out with people who may pose danger to their lives. As parents are busy to support these children’s needs, let them too be cautious on what the children do when they are away. Sometimes they can land you as a parent to trouble that you couldn’t expect.

As much as we must work, let’s not lose our children too. Parents, try all you can to study your child. It may not be easy but when the child realizes that you are concerned, he or she will change some of bad behaviours. Parents, let’s play our part.

Listen to this video on child’s safety:

Feel free to contribute on how we can improve our children’s safety as you leave a comment.

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How I made it (epi4)

Who wrote the letter? What is your guess? Let’s know it before the next episode.

Ciscasquapro

So far so good, I hope you have been enjoying the story. Let’s know what happened after the hospital incident. Kindly share it with your friends….For those who missed the last episodes, I have catered for you here

” Who else could have given out my contact to the hospital staff?” I interrogated myself paying more attention to the man. The doctor uncovered him slightly to show me more parts that were injured. This is the time I discovered that it was Hopekins- my former classmate. This was the last thing that could come to my mind. I couldn’t help it. He was just fine the day before and now unconscious. He couldn’t talk to me. I tried calling him but nothing gave me hope. I cried helplessly as I sat at the edge of his hospital bed.

Last time I was with him, we didn’t talk much. We had…

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My Life in the village(pt3)..Ciscas

It has been a while since I wrote on my life in the village. For those who missed it, here is a recap of what was it like as I tell you what happened next. Enjoy… I would also like to know whether yours was similar or different. Welcome as we connect.

Ciscasquapro

To catch up with the story, see the previous part.

It was during one of the school holidays. My mother had put a tight schedule to make sure we were always busy as always. All Tuesdays were spared for a duty of fetching firewood from a neighbouring forest. It was not an obvious thing because the forest was guarded and so we had to play our cards well to make sure that we were not caught. To us, this was not a difficult task as we always knew how to manoeuvre our way.

On that day, I woke up early. Alerted other girls from the neighbourhood and finally we had made a group of eight girls. We knew going to the forest alone could be risky and that is why we made sure we formed a strong group. Equipped with all what we needed such like pangas, axes and ropes…

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Why you should not practise Female Genital Mutilation(FGM) – Ciscasquapro

We have already seen what FGM is all about and its different levels.

The practice has brought a number of Health complications to girls and women. Let’s look at some of them:

  • Complications during child birth. The scar brings reduction of elasticity of the birth canal. Labour becomes longer and more painful with each subsequent birth
  • The hygiene during the procedure is compromised. Tools used are not sterilised between the procedure and this increases the chances of infection under exposure of HIV and AIDS
  • Girls with poor immune system find it hard to resist the infection hence compromising their health
  • Due to it’s confidenciallity, the girls are not allowed to access medical care should it be required.
  • The excess bleeding brought about by the rapture of clitoris may make the girls anaemic.

In kenya, the FGM act 2010 by Fred Kapondi prohibates the act of FGM.

I am glad that you are following my posts. Want to participate in the discussion? Drop a comment.

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Types/levels of female Genital Mutilation- Ciscasquapro

In my previous post, I highlighted what FGM is and why communities go for it even though the idea is not welcomed by human rights organizations. Let’s now see different forms of female Genital Mutilation which our women and girls go through in the name of adulthood.

  • Clitoridectomy

This is excision or removal of the clitoral hood with or without the removal of all or part of clitoris.

  • Excision

It is the removal of clitoris together with part or all labia minors (the inner vagina lips). This is the most widely practised form of FGM.

  • Infibulation

The removal of the external genitalia (clitoris, labia minors and labia majora) stitching and narrowing down of the vagina opening leaving a small opening about the size of a match stick to allow for the flow of urine and menstrual blood.

  • Introcision

The pricking or incision of the clitoris and or labia. This sometimes is done through stretching of the clitoris or labia, burning of the clitoris and the surrounding tissues, use of herbs to tighten or narrow the vagina, use of corrosives substances and put into vagina to cause bleeding.

If you have read this, you may agree with me that this is really inhuman and should be discouraged using the strongest term possible.

Women and girls who go through this is a real torture. Some are forced and so they don’t do it willingly. Our women should be given a chance to make their choices and being sensitized on such issues.

FGM denies young girls their education rights as they are ready to be married off immediately after they undergo the cut.

This risk their lives too as they can end up contracting diseases or even die in the process.

What is your take on this article? Does your community practice female circumcision? Hope to get your views as you leave your comment. Remember to follow for more articles to come. Read more

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Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)| Ciscasquapro

What is it? It is a surgical procedure performed on the genitals of girls and women in many communities. It covers a range of procedures which are also referred as female circumcision. The age and time it is practised differs from one community to the other. Though it is highly discouraged by human rights bodies, these communities have reasons why they do it.

Reasons why it is done

  • It marks the transition from childhood to womanhood. It is a rite of passage that is intended to impact the skills and information a woman needs to fulfil her duties as a wife and a mother.
  • It is believed to reduce sexual desire in a woman. This ensures her virginity is maintained until marriage.
  • Certain communities practise for religious reason believing that it is one their faith requirements.
  • Some communities consider the private part to be ugly, offensive and dirty thus the removal of some of its part makes the woman more hygenic.As the part is stitched , the size is reduced to please the husband.
  • Some do it because they believe that they will have a satisfactory bride prize as the practice makes the woman culturally and socially acceptable in the society.
  • Uncircumcised woman is seen as a child hence denied the status, access possession and roles of an adult woman in the community.

Get in touch by following me as I give you the different types of FGM. I would like to hear your opinion. Kindly give your views as you comment. Visit more of my posts

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Best new strategies to think of amidst the covid 19 pandemic

Do you believe in this statement that says, ” a blessing in disguise?” Sometimes some pressure is applied in own lives to make us leave our comfort zones. It isn’t always that tragedy strike for the worse. When this happens, let’s sit and reflect on the positive change we can make out of the situation. We may be tempted to complain, but life must continue….So what? ..Come up with new strategy to counteract the situation…try out other skills…be positive and move forward.

You can too learn it from this Story:

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a Chinese wise man and his disciple. One day during their travels, they saw a hut in the distance. As they approached it, they realized that it was occupied, in spite of its extremely poor appearance.

In that desolate place where there were no crops and no trees, a man lived with his wife, three young children and a thin, tired cow. Since they were hungry and thirsty, the wise man and his disciple stopped for a few hours and were well received. At one point, the wise man asked:
“This is a very poor place, far away from anything. How do you survive?”
“You see that cow? That’s what keeps us going,” said the head of the family. “She gives us milk, some of it we drink and some we turn into cheese. When there is extra, we go into the city and exchange the milk and cheese for other types of food. That’s how we survive.”

The wise man thanked them for their hospitality and left. When he reached the first bend in the road, he said to his disciple:

“Go back, get the cow, take her to the cliff in front of us, and push her off.” The disciple could not believe what he was hearing.

“I cannot do that, master! How can you be so ungrateful? The cow is all they have. If I throw it off the cliff, they will have no way of surviving. Without the cow, they will all die!”

The wise man, an elderly Chinese man, took a deep breath and repeated the order:“Go ahead. Push the cow off the cliff.”

Though outraged at what he was being asked to do, the disciple had to obey his master. He returned to the hut and quietly led the animal to the edge of the cliff and pushed. The cow fell down the cliff and died.

As the years passed by, remorse for what he had done never left the disciple. One spring day, the guilt became too much to bear and he left the wise man and returned to that little shack. He wanted to find out what had happened to that family, to help them out, apologize, or somehow make amends. Upon rounding a turn in the road, he could not believe what his eyes were showing him. In place of the poor shack, there was a beautiful house with trees all around, a swimming pool, several cars in the garage, a satellite dish, and more. Three good-looking teenagers and the parents were celebrating their million dollars

The heart of the disciple froze. What could have happened to the family? Without a doubt, they must have been starving to death and forced to sell their land and leave. At that moment, the disciple thought they must all be begging on the street corners of some city. He approached the house and asked a man that was passing by, about the whereabouts of the family that had lived there several years before.

“You are looking at it,” said the man, pointing to the people gathered around the barbecue. Unable to believe what he was hearing, the disciple walked through the gate and took a few steps closer to the pool where he recognized the man from several years before, only now he was strong and confident, the woman was happy, and the children were now good looking teenagers. He was dumbfounded, and went over to the man and asked:

“What happened? I was here with my teacher a few years ago and this was a miserable place. There was nothing. What did you do to improve your lives in such a short time?”

The man looked at the disciple, and replied with a smile:

“We had a cow that kept us alive. She was all we had. But one day she fell down the cliff and died. To survive, we had to start doing other things, develop skills we didn’t even know we had. And so, because we were forced to come up with new ways of doing things, we are now much better off than before.”

My question is, WHO OR WHAT IS THAT ‘COW’ IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU NEED TO PUSH OFF THE CLIFF? _Many a time, we have let our dependence on certain people, things or situation, create a comfort zone and limit us from achieving greater things. Personally, I am very ‘cautious’ in nature and it takes me a lot to let go and climb to another level. You may feel terrible at first, but in the end, it will all be worth it.

From the conversation in the end, the man says that they had to develop skills and do other things when their only ‘source of survival was dead’. At times we need to lose that job to realize that we can actually do well in business. Sometimes that business needs to fail, to realize that we can do well in other things. Sometimes a situation in our lives may have to fail for us to realize that we deserve and can get better.

The pandemic may have pushed your cow down the cliff. The cow that made you not to realize your full potential. Do not cry anymore… Stand up! … venture into your hidden skills and you will make it!

Hope you have learnt something too. Feel free to comment on it….follow too for more posts.

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How I made it (epi4)

So far so good, I hope you have been enjoying the story. Let’s know what happened after the hospital incident. Kindly share it with your friends….For those who missed the last episodes, I have catered for you here

” Who else could have given out my contact to the hospital staff?” I interrogated myself paying more attention to the man. The doctor uncovered him slightly to show me more parts that were injured. This is the time I discovered that it was Hopekins- my former classmate. This was the last thing that could come to my mind. I couldn’t help it. He was just fine the day before and now unconscious. He couldn’t talk to me. I tried calling him but nothing gave me hope. I cried helplessly as I sat at the edge of his hospital bed.

Last time I was with him, we didn’t talk much. We had agreed on meeting again and share more over a cup of coffee. Now this was not to be. It would take time before he recovers. I wanted to know what he had been doing since the time we parted ways after forth form.

Just then, the nurse entered the room.”Madam, we would like to give the patient more time to rest. Kindly leave and come back tomorrow. I am sure that he will be okay.” She changed his bedding as I walked out having nothing else I could do.

It was already late to go back to the office. I wanted to know whether Bryan reported to work. So I decided to call him but the phone call couldn’t go through. It bothered me so much that I felt exhausted with all the day’s events. At first I thought it was Bryan who was at the hospital. Where could he be? The last episode will him made me feel unsafe. By the time I was getting to the house, I was too tired to do anything else apart from jumping in my bed and before I new it, I was deep asleep.

It was now around 8am the following day. Hopekins could slightly move his hands. His open eyes could gaze at me without recognizing me. It was so sad seeing him in a such State. I had to rush to the office and so I excused myself. I promised the nurse that I would be coming back to check on him.

Reaching at the office, I noted there was an envelope on the table. It must be Bryan! What could it be? I took the envelope, got the letter and started reading.

Dear Sarah, it is with a heavy heart that I write this letter. I didn’t find a better way of saying it. I am sorry to say that Bryan………

Hope you don’t want to miss the next episode….. follow me…..want to give your opinion….. comment…. for more…get it here

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How I made it (epi4)

So far so good, I hope you have been enjoying the story. Let’s know what happened after the hospital incident. Kindly share it with your friends….For those who missed the last episodes, I have catered for you here

” Who else could have given out my contact to the hospital staff?” I interrogated myself paying more attention to the man. The doctor uncovered him slightly to show me more parts that were injured. This is the time I discovered that it was Hopekins- my former classmate. This was the last thing that could come to my mind. I couldn’t help it. He was just fine the day before and now unconscious. He couldn’t talk to me. I tried calling him but nothing gave me hope. I cried helplessly as I sat at the edge of his hospital bed.

Last time I was with him, we didn’t talk much. We had agreed on meeting again and share more over a cup of coffee. Now this was not to be. It would take time before he recovers. I wanted to know what he had been doing since the time we parted ways after forth form.

Just then, the nurse entered the room.”Madam, we would like to give the patient more time to rest. Kindly leave and come back tomorrow. I am sure that he will be okay.” She changed his bedding as I walked out having nothing else I could do.

It was already late to go back to the office. I wanted to know whether Bryan reported to work. So I decided to call him but the phone call couldn’t go through. It bothered me so much that I felt exhausted with all the day’s events. At first I thought it was Bryan who was at the hospital. Where could he be? The last episode will him made me feel unsafe. By the time I was getting to the house, I was too tired to do anything else apart from jumping in my bed and before I new it, I was deep asleep.

It was now around 8am the following day. Hopekins could slightly move his hands. His open eyes could gaze at me without recognizing me. It was so sad seeing him in a such State. I had to rush to the office and so I excused myself. I promised the nurse that I would be coming back to check on him.

Reaching at the office, I noted there was an envelope on the table. It must be Bryan! What could it be? I took the envelope, got the letter and started reading.

Dear Sarah, it is with a heavy heart that I write this letter. I didn’t find a better way of saying it. I am sorry to say that Bryan………

Hope you don’t want to miss the next episode….. follow me…..want to give your opinion….. comment…. for more…get it here

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How good do you know your child? – Ciscasquapro

Have you ever been tricked by your own child? How did you feel after you realized what had happened? How did you react?

The busy schedule of parents Sometimes makes it impossible to have ample time with their children. Understanding them becomes a bit difficult because they will play angels when the parents are around and something different when parents are away. At the back of parents’ minds, what they have is a good boy or a girl who adheres to the instructions given not until the reality dawns on to them.

This reminds me on an incident that happened at school when my daughter was in grade three. I had gone to pick her report form and what the teacher told me left me surprised.

My girl had always been a quiet child with less to talk about. She used most of her time watching cartoons. She wasn’t a child one would keep scolding. She was very careful on making sure she didn’t do anything that would make me unhappy.

The teacher had this to say:

Your daughter has done very well, but I have one thing to accuse her of. She is the best noise maker in class. First she makes sure she has finished her work, then goes on disturbing others. Every teacher is complaining

I looked at her suspeciously. Her innocent looking made me to question the teacher’s remarks. I wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth. True to the accusations, she testified that after playing a bad girl at school, she becomes too tied and that makes her to be cool when at home.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. From that day I promised myself never again judge the book by it’s cover.

Have you ever been in a such scenario where you think your child is what he or she is not?

A certain lady was told by her neighbours that her teenage girl had been seen with suspecious company when the parents were away. She was very mad on it and told her neighbours to leave her girl alone and they were just jealous of her.

After two weeks, the lady received an anonymous call informing her that her girl had been arrested for gun trafficking and she should go to the police station.

Afterwards, the girl took the police to their house where she was hiding the guns. Seeing this, the mother fainted and was rushed to the hospital.

What should we do as parents when we hear these allegations?

My opinion…..listen carefully to what is being said. Before you act, come up with your own ways to investigate what you have been told. If the child is smarter, involve your close friends and her peers secretly just to get to know the reality. This will give you a chance to study every move your child is undertaking. Be calm to both the child and whoever gave you the news.

With this, you will be able to get to the root of the matter and henceforth deal with it as required.

Though people can be malicious sometimes, never ignore before you get to know what is happening. Let not your love to the child blindfold you not to see the reality.

More on children discipline and on teenage relationship is discussed here.

I would love to hear how you solved the problem or how you can do it incase such scenario crosses your path… comment.

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Reasons why doing household chores is good for children

By introducing our children to simple house chores day by day, we add value to their lives.

Ciscasquapro

Children can learn a lot from doing household chores. Here is a video on children and house chores…for more of such…just subscribe..

Doing chores helps children learn about what they need to do to care for themselves, a home and a family. Theylearn skillsthey can use in their adult lives, like preparing meals, cleaning, organising and keeping a garden.

Being involved in chores also gives childrenexperience of relationship skillslike communicating clearly, negotiating, cooperating and working as a team.

When children contribute to family life, ithelps them feel competent and responsible. Even if they don’t enjoy the chore, when they keep going they get the feeling of satisfaction that comes with finishing a task.

And sharing housework can alsohelp families work betterand reduce family stress. When children help out, chores get done sooner, and parents have less to do. This frees up time for the family to spend doing fun things…

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Why we need to come up with new strategies amidst the pandemic

Do you believe in this statement that says, ” a blessing in disguise?” Sometimes some pressure is applied in own lives to make us leave our comfort zones. It isn’t always that tragedy strike for the worse. When this happens, let’s sit and reflect on the positive change we can make out of the situation. We may be tempted to complain, but life must continue….So what? ..Come up with new strategy to counteract the situation…try out other skills…be positive and move forward.

You can too learn it from this Story:

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a Chinese wise man and his disciple. One day during their travels, they saw a hut in the distance. As they approached it, they realized that it was occupied, in spite of its extremely poor appearance.

In that desolate place where there were no crops and no trees, a man lived with his wife, three young children and a thin, tired cow. Since they were hungry and thirsty, the wise man and his disciple stopped for a few hours and were well received. At one point, the wise man asked:
“This is a very poor place, far away from anything. How do you survive?”
“You see that cow? That’s what keeps us going,” said the head of the family. “She gives us milk, some of it we drink and some we turn into cheese. When there is extra, we go into the city and exchange the milk and cheese for other types of food. That’s how we survive.”

The wise man thanked them for their hospitality and left. When he reached the first bend in the road, he said to his disciple:

“Go back, get the cow, take her to the cliff in front of us, and push her off.” The disciple could not believe what he was hearing.

“I cannot do that, master! How can you be so ungrateful? The cow is all they have. If I throw it off the cliff, they will have no way of surviving. Without the cow, they will all die!”

The wise man, an elderly Chinese man, took a deep breath and repeated the order:“Go ahead. Push the cow off the cliff.”

Though outraged at what he was being asked to do, the disciple had to obey his master. He returned to the hut and quietly led the animal to the edge of the cliff and pushed. The cow fell down the cliff and died.

As the years passed by, remorse for what he had done never left the disciple. One spring day, the guilt became too much to bear and he left the wise man and returned to that little shack. He wanted to find out what had happened to that family, to help them out, apologize, or somehow make amends. Upon rounding a turn in the road, he could not believe what his eyes were showing him. In place of the poor shack, there was a beautiful house with trees all around, a swimming pool, several cars in the garage, a satellite dish, and more. Three good-looking teenagers and their parents were celebrating their first million dollars.

The heart of the disciple froze. What could have happened to the family? Without a doubt, they must have been starving to death and forced to sell their land and leave. At that moment, the disciple thought they must all be begging on the street corners of some city. He approached the house and asked a man that was passing by, about the whereabouts of the family that had lived there several years before.

“You are looking at it,” said the man, pointing to the people gathered around the barbecue. Unable to believe what he was hearing, the disciple walked through the gate and took a few steps closer to the pool where he recognized the man from several years before, only now he was strong and confident, the woman was happy, and the children were now good looking teenagers. He was dumbfounded, and went over to the man and asked:

“What happened? I was here with my teacher a few years ago and this was a miserable place. There was nothing. What did you do to improve your lives in such a short time?”

The man looked at the disciple, and replied with a smile:

“We had a cow that kept us alive. She was all we had. But one day she fell down the cliff and died. To survive, we had to start doing other things, develop skills we didn’t even know we had. And so, because we were forced to come up with new ways of doing things, we are now much better off than before.”

My question is, WHO OR WHAT IS THAT ‘COW’ IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU NEED TO PUSH OFF THE CLIFF? _Many a time, we have let our dependence on certain people, things or situation, create a comfort zone and limit us from achieving greater things. Personally, I am very ‘cautious’ in nature and it takes me a lot to let go and climb to another level. You may feel terrible at first, but in the end, it will all be worth it.

From the conversation in the end, the man says that they had to develop skills and do other things when their only ‘source of survival was dead’. At times we need to lose that job to realize that we can actually do well in business. Sometimes that business needs to fail, to realize that we can do well in other things. Sometimes a situation in our lives may have to fail for us to realize that we deserve and can get better.

The pandemic may have pushed your cow down the cliff. The cow that made you not to realize your full potential. Do not cry anymore… Stand up! … venture into your hidden skills and you will make it!

Hope you have learnt something too. Feel free to comment on it….follow too for more posts.

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Why we need ‘sex awareness’ for our children

For a long time, talking about sex especially in front of children has been considered as a taboo. Questions that were asked by children like – where do children come from? Was always brushed off or given a wrong answer all together. Some parents could give answers such as: they were bought from the hospital, an aeroplane brought the baby and many more. How was your community responding to this queries? Kindly let’s know by commenting.

This behaviour has kept the children naive until their world was engulfed with online stuff. Here, they can get all the answers they want though some have been so misleading. Some children have gone further by practising what they see on social media. Others got influenced by peers or celebrities.

No matter how we denie them access to information, there is always a way out.

So, what next? It is good to let them know what to expect from their surrounding may it physical or virtual and the consequences of getting involved with some stuff.

Though they say ignorance has no defense, some of these children get to the traps unknowingly. This attitude of hiding the real life to them is getting them off guard. Having nothing they can use to their defense not even little knowledge on what would happen to them incase they find themselves in trouble.

Unfortunately, our keeping quiet does not make them not to try out what they watch and see online or in social media. I feel it is important we educate them on some issues. Here I am having a talk on sexual misuse explaining why and when not to get involved.

On sex relationship with relatives and animals, it has been happening and it’s time we call a spade a spade. Let’s put everything in black and white. We should not continue hiding our heads in the sand while our young ones are drowning. When these issues are reported by media, we tend to ignore but the truth is our children are getting notes out of them.

I felt there is a need to sensitize them through the video…watch, like and share them to Help me reach more of them.

For more on teenage life and parenting, visit my previous posts here.

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Are superstitions real?

When I was growing up, I could get some warnings from my parents on dos and don’ts . Some of them were like:

  • It’s not good to whistle at night and if I did crickets would come for me.
  • If you wake up in the morning and the first thing you see is a bird with white feathers around the next, just go back and sleep because it is a bad omen. Something bad might happen.
  • If you start your journey and the first person you meet is a woman, don’t talk to her, it might be a bad luck.
  • If the owl made some noise at night, somebody in the village would die.
  • If you closed your legs while in the office and you are a woman, you will lose customers.
  • Don’t eat in the dark, Satan will visit you.
  • Never eat from sauce pan, you will never get Children.
  • Don’t eat eggs when pregnant, you will die when giving birth.

And many more. Sometimes I wonder whether this was real! Have you ever heard of such or others? Talk to me and let me know your superstitions as you comment. For more, kindly follow and see my posts

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The best top 100 Girls’ Names to give your daughter 2020

Almost to welcome your pink jet and wonder the best name to give?…Not any more…here come some of the best girls’ names!

  1. Emma
  2. Olivia
  3. Ava
  4. Isabella
  5. Sophia
  6. Charlotte
  7. Mia
  8. Amelia
  9. Harper
  10. Evelyn
  11. Abigail
  12. Emily
  13. Elizabeth
  14. Mila
  15. Ella
  16. Avery
  17. Sofia
  18. Camila
  19. Aria
  20. Scarlett
  21. Victoria
  22. Madison
  23. Luna
  24. Grace
  25. Chloe
  26. Penelope
  27. Layla
  28. Riley
  29. Zoey
  30. Nora
  31. Lily
  32. Eleanor
  33. Hannah
  34. Lillian
  35. Addison
  36. Aubrey
  37. Ellie
  38. Stella
  39. Natalie
  40. Zoe
  41. Leah
  42. Hazel
  43. Violet
  44. Aurora
  45. Savannah
  46. Audrey
  47. Brooklyn
  48. Bella
  49. Claire
  50. Skylar
  51. Lucy
  52. Paisley
  53. Everly
  54. Anna
  55. Caroline
  56. Nova
  57. Genesis
  58. Emilia
  59. Kennedy
  60. Samantha
  61. Maya
  62. Willow
  63. Kinsley
  64. Naomi
  65. Aaliyah
  66. Elena
  67. Sarah
  68. Ariana
  69. Allison
  70. Gabriella
  71. Alice
  72. Madelyn
  73. Cora
  74. Ruby
  75. Eva
  76. Serenity
  77. Autumn
  78. Adeline
  79. Hailey
  80. Gianna
  81. Valentina
  82. Isla
  83. Eliana
  84. Quinn
  85. Nevaeh
  86. Ivy
  87. Sadie
  88. Piper
  89. Lydia
  90. Alexa
  91. Josephine
  92. Emery
  93. Julia
  94. Delilah
  95. Arianna
  96. Vivian
  97. Kaylee
  98. Sophie
  99. Brielle
  100. Madeline
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My YouTube videos – Ciscas

As we raise our children, there are many obstacles that comes on our way. My Let’s know YouTube channel has tried to discuss some of them. If you haven’t visited it, kindly do it. Like, share and subscribe. Always remember to put notification on incase you miss the up coming videos.

Ciscasquapro

I take this opportunity to welcome all parents to my YouTube channel – Let’s Know

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClyvkMUdMAmiYR08kOUB4Ng

The stuff here will be based on parenting.

Kindly like, share with other parents and subscribe. Put notification on so that you don’t miss upcoming videos.

There is a sister channel Ciscas which has Children stuff on morals and values…

Help kids connect to it. It will be of great help to them. Here it is..

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Best way to use your leisure time

Go for charity work. Yes voluntary duties. This is the best way you can use your leisure time. Plus…. visiting the sick, the needy and elderly….

But due to the pandemic, it makes this a bit difficult or if done, we should be cautious to prevent spread of the virus – corona virus.

Pray for them too…offer service where possible.

See more posts here

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How insults and name calling can affect child’s mental growth

The impact of child verbal abuse on mental health of the child.

Ciscasquapro

Have you ever insulted your child? Has your child suffered from name calling? Have you ever thought how this could cause a great mental harm to your child? Verbal abuse should not be taken lightly. This happens more with mothers than fathers. I believe after reading the article below , you will never do it again! You can as well watch the video below.

Daisy was a grade three child. She was a quiet girl who did her work silently. She wasn’t social and most of the time she spent all alone. Let me say that she wasn’t gifted in class work. She lived with her mother who didn’t understand her at all. Most of the time is when she scolded her calling her names like cow, dog, donkey, foolish and stupid.

There was this one name she liked calling her mostly, “Ng’ombe” meaning cow. Anytime she did something wrong…

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August Thanksgiving – Ciscasquapro

Since the pandemic knocked our doors, it has not been a walk in the park. A lot of challenges came with it. Many have lost their lives leaving their loved ones grieving. May their souls rest in peace.

If you happen to read these few lines, know that you are among the lucky ones that God has spared. So let’s praise Him for his mighty protection.

Thumbs up for all who have worked tirelessly to make sure they have tried all what they can to save a life from the pandemic. May God continue protecting you.

As we start a new month, we pray that our God will continue guiding us through the month. May his love never depart from us. His mercies endures forever!

Have a blessed and a happy new month.

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10 things every teenage girl should know – Ciscasquapro

As it is written, my people perish because of lack of knowledge, it is important girls to get this article. It may save a soul.

Ciscasquapro

As narrated by (Nancy)

1. You are valuable standing alone!I wasted so much time during my teen years focusing on guys! I felt insignificant and alone without their attention. I wish I would have known that my value is something that I choose to believe in– not something someone gives me. Girls, you are amazing, beautiful, and special right here, right now, just as you are. Don’t ever give in to the pressure to use your body, your words, or your actions in a compromising way just to get his attention. You are enough. Learn to believe that now, because that truth will change your entire life!

2. How you dress will attract a certain kind of guy. I know you get it girls- we all want to catch their eye don’t we? But what we don’t always realize is that when you catch a guy with your…

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