Categories
In Africa Latest news News Parenting Readers The world

Why members of a family abuse the child

It is hard to believe that a member of a family can abuse a child of their own. To some of the culture, this can bring a lot of misfortune in someone’s life. Abuse of a child by a family member has become a common thing in today’s life.

We have heard mothers and fathers killing their own children. Others abuse them physically, emotionally and even sexually. Some relatives such as uncles, aunts brothers and sisters have turned to be monsters to the children they are supposed to care for.

But the question is, why do these members abuse the child? Though this should not give a justification to child abuse, some factors contributed to it. Some of them are:

  • Stress
  • Frustrations
  • Poverty
  • Unemployment
  • Illiteracy
  • Mental health problems
  • Use of harmful substances such as drugs

Let’s all try and manage stress as this contribute more to child abuse. Families should protect the children and give them the support they need. If one feel the frustrations are too much, just visit a specialist instead of taking it out to children.

Let us protect our own. For more articles read here . You opinions are welcome as you leave a comment. You can also follow me to be sure of getting the hottest news.

Categories
In Africa kenya Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Single mother’s relationship – Ciscasquapro

From a concerned parent:

I am a single mother of three children. First born is 19 years, second born 16 years and the only girl, last born is 12 years. I have raised them all by myself. I have a job and so I am able to meet their needs.

A year ago I met a man in my life whom I feel it’s more than a friendship. He is a widower with two children who are above 20years and we are planning to move together as a husband and a wife. My worry is my children who are teenagers. I don’t know how to approach them. I fear their reaction.

I feel I need someone to love me as a husband but I am worried on the reaction of my kids. How will I tell them that we will be moving in with a man who will be their dad? Moving from my house to the man’s house and stay as a family? If you come across this lines, kindly advise.

Yours concerned mother

Have you ever experienced such a scenario? Or if it were you what could you have done? Let’s help the worried mother through the chat.

Categories
In Africa Latest news Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Miserable Teenager’s life

Below is a tweet from Nation Africa on how different teenagers regret having messed up with their teenage lives and the parents’ reactions. Just have a look at it. You may also visit more posts below.

Categories
fashion ladies wears Latest news Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Teenagers and fashion – Ciscasquapro

Teengers get influenced not only in relationship but also in fashion. Both boys and girls have their ways of showing off when it comes to trending style. It is good as a parent to understand that this is stage but should be controlled in a friendly manner.

There was a time when the concept of fashion was only relevant on special occasions. Though, it would be pointless to compare the present generation with past generation, but there is a vast difference between the present and the older generation. Fashion is the key word for today’s teenagers. Fashion is everywhere, in fact, fashion has grabbed school going students under its spell as well. The bags they carry, the watches they wear and the way they carry themselves involves so much of fashion.

The teenagers seem to be more fashionable than the adults now. In fact they can be good trendsetters themselves. There are many teens who invent their own styles and aim to become an icon among their groups.

Earlier, fashion used to be found only among the affluent class of people, but now the times have changed. Now, class doesn’t matter on the road to becoming fashionable. In fact, everybody is fashionable these days. We can hardly see anyone on the streets who isn’t fashion conscious.

One of the many factors responsible for the spread and the craze of fashion among people is the Television. Fashion or “style” can be called contagious because people get influenced by one who already is fashion conscious. Being fashion conscious not only makes you popular among your folks but also upgrades your confidence level.

Teenagers are so much focused on fashion that they don’t get sufficient time for other work. Instead of reading textbooks they prefer to read fashion magazines. They try hard to imitate the models. The time they ought to spend in their studies, they spend in watching programmes on TV, reading fashion articles or finding the recent trendy clothes on the web. Other things that influence them are:

1. Peer Pressure
Peer pressure largely affects a teenager’s daily choices on matters like alcohol and drug abuse, fashion and style, the kind of friends one has, as well as academic performance. Peer pressure can either be good or bad.

Research has shown that teenagers will dress in a particular way to stave off mocking and humiliation from peers. They feel that if they dress in inappropriate clothes they could end up losing their friends. You will notice that teenagers will go shopping together or ask for advice on how to dress up for an event, say, a birthday party.
A majority of teenagers are influenced by people around them because they feel that they somehow need to fit in. Duplicating the fashion around them gives them a sense of belonging in today’s world. Teenagers use fashion to keep friendships and bolster their self-esteem by “mirroring”. More often than not, adolescents will dress alike because this provides a sense of affirmation and a sense of belonging to a peer group.

2. Body Image
This issue mostly affects teenage girls. The media and magazines influence, in some way, on a girl’s physical look. For instance, when a skinny model is on the cover of a magazine, the teen will do whatever it takes just to look like them. This has resulted in many lifestyle changes amongst teenage girls and unhealthy approaches such as eating disorders.

Along with their peers, the internet also influences a teenager’s body image issues. Comparing oneself to what you see on the internet can negatively impact body image which is closely related to fashion and style.

3. Media and Magazines
Teenagers use magazines and media to evaluate what the upcoming trends are so that they may know exactly what to buy and what not to buy. Fashion shows/ magazines play a huge role in affecting a teenager’s lifestyle and sense of style as most of them buy clothes after looking through the latest magazines. These magazines affect, in a large way, the selection of a teenager’s clothes.

Most fashion magazines target teenagers, particularly girls. The magazines will put popular celebrities dressed in fancy clothes on the cover to attract the young girls. You will hear her say, “Oh look who it is. I totally have to get that outfit”. These magazines then endorse the stores and companies there the celebrities buy their trendy and latest styles.

4. Celebrities
Teenagers will idolize the celebrities that they love. They look up to them for some fashion inspiration. When the teenager sees their favorite celebrity dressed in something that they love, they will go and buy the exact same outfit just to look like them. They will then show off the clothes to their friends.

Teenagers watch all types of reality shows to try and keep up with favorite celebrities’ style. They will even look up to the celebrities for hairstyle ideas. Basically, teenagers discover themselves through external stimuli. Celebrities provide the external basis from which the teenagers will benchmark their opinions, thoughts, and associations.
Even though celebrities may not explicitly try to persuade their audience to go with a particular flow, they subconsciously alter their audience’s ideologies. Once a celebrity publicly endorses a piece of clothing, this creates societal acceptance and has a positive impact on the overall brand image.

5. Designer Brands
The adolescents are preoccupied with social acceptance and coolness associated with the clothes they wear. For this reason, teenagers will exhibit a more brand-oriented decision when they go shopping. Most teenagers will go shopping at stores where they sell quality high-end designer clothes.

When teenagers do not have the money to shop at the high-end stores for designer clothes, they get stressed up. They feel that since they cannot afford the clothes they will not look good, and they will not fit in. This is where parents should come in and offer guidance accordingly as this may make the teenagers do crazy things just to try to fit in her or his world.

Unlike earlier times, now the teenagers do not go out with their parents on weekends, rather they plan their outings with their friends. For most of them the prime zones for outings have now become malls because they can do a lot of shopping there in addition to having fun.

There were times when children used to dream of becoming scientists, doctors, engineers or even teachers, but the priority and taste of the children has changed. Most of them desire to be into the glamour world. They find the fashion world better than any other job. In fact, one who is not fashion conscious doesn’t get much importance. One who looks trendy in the first appearance takes away all the limelight.

But it is the duty and responsibility of the parents to keep a watch over their children. They should know whether their children are using most of their time on fashion or their studies. Too much of information regarding recent trends and styles block the minds of the children and distract them from their studies. It’s good to keep yourself updated with fashion but if it interferes in your academic performance, it should be avoided.

Parents should be watchful on the fashion their teens are craving for to make sure their morals and values are not compromised. The should give guidance and support where necessary as this will avoid conflict with the teenagers as they try to identify themselves in the fashion world.

Do you have something you have experienced on teenagers and fashion as you raise them? Feel free to keep the discussion on as you leave a comment.

Follow me to get more of my posts.

Categories
Education news In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Teachers and Digital learning – Ciscasquapro

The Coronavirus pandemic has brought a lot of changes in our daily lives. More so to education sector where most of learning is being done through online classes. The teachers are therefore supposed to be well equipped with technology to be able to facilitate the lessons.

As I stated in my previous post on challenges of digital learning, teaching online has been difficult to some of the teachers who are not conversant with the use of computers. Remember this was not part of their training and so it calls for the teachers’ effort to equip themselves with the skills. This has brought some hiccups in online classes.

So it is good for those teachers to put some effort and embrace the change by enrolling to computer classes too as this will help them to understand what they need to administer to the learners.

They should not shy off from getting some insights from the young generation which may be well conversant in the area.

By this doing, our children will have competent teachers who are able to deliver the content in every situation.

Do you have any opinion on the above? Let’s share it as you leave your comment.

Categories
In Africa kenya Parenting Readers The world

Importance of Child’s Safety

As the children are still at home in Kenya, very few bother the risks they are exposed to. Some don’t care about the safety precautions on Covid 19. Others hangout out with people who may pose danger to their lives. As parents are busy to support these children’s needs, let them too be cautious on what the children do when they are away. Sometimes they can land you as a parent to trouble that you couldn’t expect.

As much as we must work, let’s not lose our children too. Parents, try all you can to study your child. It may not be easy but when the child realizes that you are concerned, he or she will change some of bad behaviours. Parents, let’s play our part.

Listen to this video on child’s safety:

Feel free to contribute on how we can improve our children’s safety as you leave a comment.

Categories
Business news Education news In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world

Why you should not practise Female Genital Mutilation(FGM) – Ciscasquapro

We have already seen what FGM is all about and its different levels.

The practice has brought a number of Health complications to girls and women. Let’s look at some of them:

  • Complications during child birth. The scar brings reduction of elasticity of the birth canal. Labour becomes longer and more painful with each subsequent birth
  • The hygiene during the procedure is compromised. Tools used are not sterilised between the procedure and this increases the chances of infection under exposure of HIV and AIDS
  • Girls with poor immune system find it hard to resist the infection hence compromising their health
  • Due to it’s confidenciallity, the girls are not allowed to access medical care should it be required.
  • The excess bleeding brought about by the rapture of clitoris may make the girls anaemic.

In kenya, the FGM act 2010 by Fred Kapondi prohibates the act of FGM.

I am glad that you are following my posts. Want to participate in the discussion? Drop a comment.

Categories
Business news Education news In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world

Types/levels of female Genital Mutilation- Ciscasquapro

In my previous post, I highlighted what FGM is and why communities go for it even though the idea is not welcomed by human rights organizations. Let’s now see different forms of female Genital Mutilation which our women and girls go through in the name of adulthood.

  • Clitoridectomy

This is excision or removal of the clitoral hood with or without the removal of all or part of clitoris.

  • Excision

It is the removal of clitoris together with part or all labia minors (the inner vagina lips). This is the most widely practised form of FGM.

  • Infibulation

The removal of the external genitalia (clitoris, labia minors and labia majora) stitching and narrowing down of the vagina opening leaving a small opening about the size of a match stick to allow for the flow of urine and menstrual blood.

  • Introcision

The pricking or incision of the clitoris and or labia. This sometimes is done through stretching of the clitoris or labia, burning of the clitoris and the surrounding tissues, use of herbs to tighten or narrow the vagina, use of corrosives substances and put into vagina to cause bleeding.

If you have read this, you may agree with me that this is really inhuman and should be discouraged using the strongest term possible.

Women and girls who go through this is a real torture. Some are forced and so they don’t do it willingly. Our women should be given a chance to make their choices and being sensitized on such issues.

FGM denies young girls their education rights as they are ready to be married off immediately after they undergo the cut.

This risk their lives too as they can end up contracting diseases or even die in the process.

What is your take on this article? Does your community practice female circumcision? Hope to get your views as you leave your comment. Remember to follow for more articles to come. Read more

Categories
Education news In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world

Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)| Ciscasquapro

What is it? It is a surgical procedure performed on the genitals of girls and women in many communities. It covers a range of procedures which are also referred as female circumcision. The age and time it is practised differs from one community to the other. Though it is highly discouraged by human rights bodies, these communities have reasons why they do it.

Reasons why it is done

  • It marks the transition from childhood to womanhood. It is a rite of passage that is intended to impact the skills and information a woman needs to fulfil her duties as a wife and a mother.
  • It is believed to reduce sexual desire in a woman. This ensures her virginity is maintained until marriage.
  • Certain communities practise for religious reason believing that it is one their faith requirements.
  • Some communities consider the private part to be ugly, offensive and dirty thus the removal of some of its part makes the woman more hygenic.As the part is stitched , the size is reduced to please the husband.
  • Some do it because they believe that they will have a satisfactory bride prize as the practice makes the woman culturally and socially acceptable in the society.
  • Uncircumcised woman is seen as a child hence denied the status, access possession and roles of an adult woman in the community.

Get in touch by following me as I give you the different types of FGM. I would like to hear your opinion. Kindly give your views as you comment. Visit more of my posts

Categories
Business news Education news In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Best new strategies to think of amidst the covid 19 pandemic

Do you believe in this statement that says, ” a blessing in disguise?” Sometimes some pressure is applied in own lives to make us leave our comfort zones. It isn’t always that tragedy strike for the worse. When this happens, let’s sit and reflect on the positive change we can make out of the situation. We may be tempted to complain, but life must continue….So what? ..Come up with new strategy to counteract the situation…try out other skills…be positive and move forward.

You can too learn it from this Story:

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a Chinese wise man and his disciple. One day during their travels, they saw a hut in the distance. As they approached it, they realized that it was occupied, in spite of its extremely poor appearance.

In that desolate place where there were no crops and no trees, a man lived with his wife, three young children and a thin, tired cow. Since they were hungry and thirsty, the wise man and his disciple stopped for a few hours and were well received. At one point, the wise man asked:
“This is a very poor place, far away from anything. How do you survive?”
“You see that cow? That’s what keeps us going,” said the head of the family. “She gives us milk, some of it we drink and some we turn into cheese. When there is extra, we go into the city and exchange the milk and cheese for other types of food. That’s how we survive.”

The wise man thanked them for their hospitality and left. When he reached the first bend in the road, he said to his disciple:

“Go back, get the cow, take her to the cliff in front of us, and push her off.” The disciple could not believe what he was hearing.

“I cannot do that, master! How can you be so ungrateful? The cow is all they have. If I throw it off the cliff, they will have no way of surviving. Without the cow, they will all die!”

The wise man, an elderly Chinese man, took a deep breath and repeated the order:“Go ahead. Push the cow off the cliff.”

Though outraged at what he was being asked to do, the disciple had to obey his master. He returned to the hut and quietly led the animal to the edge of the cliff and pushed. The cow fell down the cliff and died.

As the years passed by, remorse for what he had done never left the disciple. One spring day, the guilt became too much to bear and he left the wise man and returned to that little shack. He wanted to find out what had happened to that family, to help them out, apologize, or somehow make amends. Upon rounding a turn in the road, he could not believe what his eyes were showing him. In place of the poor shack, there was a beautiful house with trees all around, a swimming pool, several cars in the garage, a satellite dish, and more. Three good-looking teenagers and the parents were celebrating their million dollars

The heart of the disciple froze. What could have happened to the family? Without a doubt, they must have been starving to death and forced to sell their land and leave. At that moment, the disciple thought they must all be begging on the street corners of some city. He approached the house and asked a man that was passing by, about the whereabouts of the family that had lived there several years before.

“You are looking at it,” said the man, pointing to the people gathered around the barbecue. Unable to believe what he was hearing, the disciple walked through the gate and took a few steps closer to the pool where he recognized the man from several years before, only now he was strong and confident, the woman was happy, and the children were now good looking teenagers. He was dumbfounded, and went over to the man and asked:

“What happened? I was here with my teacher a few years ago and this was a miserable place. There was nothing. What did you do to improve your lives in such a short time?”

The man looked at the disciple, and replied with a smile:

“We had a cow that kept us alive. She was all we had. But one day she fell down the cliff and died. To survive, we had to start doing other things, develop skills we didn’t even know we had. And so, because we were forced to come up with new ways of doing things, we are now much better off than before.”

My question is, WHO OR WHAT IS THAT ‘COW’ IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU NEED TO PUSH OFF THE CLIFF? _Many a time, we have let our dependence on certain people, things or situation, create a comfort zone and limit us from achieving greater things. Personally, I am very ‘cautious’ in nature and it takes me a lot to let go and climb to another level. You may feel terrible at first, but in the end, it will all be worth it.

From the conversation in the end, the man says that they had to develop skills and do other things when their only ‘source of survival was dead’. At times we need to lose that job to realize that we can actually do well in business. Sometimes that business needs to fail, to realize that we can do well in other things. Sometimes a situation in our lives may have to fail for us to realize that we deserve and can get better.

The pandemic may have pushed your cow down the cliff. The cow that made you not to realize your full potential. Do not cry anymore… Stand up! … venture into your hidden skills and you will make it!

Hope you have learnt something too. Feel free to comment on it….follow too for more posts.

Categories
Education news In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

How I made it (epi4)

So far so good, I hope you have been enjoying the story. Let’s know what happened after the hospital incident. Kindly share it with your friends….For those who missed the last episodes, I have catered for you here

” Who else could have given out my contact to the hospital staff?” I interrogated myself paying more attention to the man. The doctor uncovered him slightly to show me more parts that were injured. This is the time I discovered that it was Hopekins- my former classmate. This was the last thing that could come to my mind. I couldn’t help it. He was just fine the day before and now unconscious. He couldn’t talk to me. I tried calling him but nothing gave me hope. I cried helplessly as I sat at the edge of his hospital bed.

Last time I was with him, we didn’t talk much. We had agreed on meeting again and share more over a cup of coffee. Now this was not to be. It would take time before he recovers. I wanted to know what he had been doing since the time we parted ways after forth form.

Just then, the nurse entered the room.”Madam, we would like to give the patient more time to rest. Kindly leave and come back tomorrow. I am sure that he will be okay.” She changed his bedding as I walked out having nothing else I could do.

It was already late to go back to the office. I wanted to know whether Bryan reported to work. So I decided to call him but the phone call couldn’t go through. It bothered me so much that I felt exhausted with all the day’s events. At first I thought it was Bryan who was at the hospital. Where could he be? The last episode will him made me feel unsafe. By the time I was getting to the house, I was too tired to do anything else apart from jumping in my bed and before I new it, I was deep asleep.

It was now around 8am the following day. Hopekins could slightly move his hands. His open eyes could gaze at me without recognizing me. It was so sad seeing him in a such State. I had to rush to the office and so I excused myself. I promised the nurse that I would be coming back to check on him.

Reaching at the office, I noted there was an envelope on the table. It must be Bryan! What could it be? I took the envelope, got the letter and started reading.

Dear Sarah, it is with a heavy heart that I write this letter. I didn’t find a better way of saying it. I am sorry to say that Bryan………

Hope you don’t want to miss the next episode….. follow me…..want to give your opinion….. comment…. for more…get it here

Categories
Education news In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

How I made it (epi4)

So far so good, I hope you have been enjoying the story. Let’s know what happened after the hospital incident. Kindly share it with your friends….For those who missed the last episodes, I have catered for you here

” Who else could have given out my contact to the hospital staff?” I interrogated myself paying more attention to the man. The doctor uncovered him slightly to show me more parts that were injured. This is the time I discovered that it was Hopekins- my former classmate. This was the last thing that could come to my mind. I couldn’t help it. He was just fine the day before and now unconscious. He couldn’t talk to me. I tried calling him but nothing gave me hope. I cried helplessly as I sat at the edge of his hospital bed.

Last time I was with him, we didn’t talk much. We had agreed on meeting again and share more over a cup of coffee. Now this was not to be. It would take time before he recovers. I wanted to know what he had been doing since the time we parted ways after forth form.

Just then, the nurse entered the room.”Madam, we would like to give the patient more time to rest. Kindly leave and come back tomorrow. I am sure that he will be okay.” She changed his bedding as I walked out having nothing else I could do.

It was already late to go back to the office. I wanted to know whether Bryan reported to work. So I decided to call him but the phone call couldn’t go through. It bothered me so much that I felt exhausted with all the day’s events. At first I thought it was Bryan who was at the hospital. Where could he be? The last episode will him made me feel unsafe. By the time I was getting to the house, I was too tired to do anything else apart from jumping in my bed and before I new it, I was deep asleep.

It was now around 8am the following day. Hopekins could slightly move his hands. His open eyes could gaze at me without recognizing me. It was so sad seeing him in a such State. I had to rush to the office and so I excused myself. I promised the nurse that I would be coming back to check on him.

Reaching at the office, I noted there was an envelope on the table. It must be Bryan! What could it be? I took the envelope, got the letter and started reading.

Dear Sarah, it is with a heavy heart that I write this letter. I didn’t find a better way of saying it. I am sorry to say that Bryan………

Hope you don’t want to miss the next episode….. follow me…..want to give your opinion….. comment…. for more…get it here

Categories
News Parenting Readers The world

How good do you know your child? – Ciscasquapro

Have you ever been tricked by your own child? How did you feel after you realized what had happened? How did you react?

The busy schedule of parents Sometimes makes it impossible to have ample time with their children. Understanding them becomes a bit difficult because they will play angels when the parents are around and something different when parents are away. At the back of parents’ minds, what they have is a good boy or a girl who adheres to the instructions given not until the reality dawns on to them.

This reminds me on an incident that happened at school when my daughter was in grade three. I had gone to pick her report form and what the teacher told me left me surprised.

My girl had always been a quiet child with less to talk about. She used most of her time watching cartoons. She wasn’t a child one would keep scolding. She was very careful on making sure she didn’t do anything that would make me unhappy.

The teacher had this to say:

Your daughter has done very well, but I have one thing to accuse her of. She is the best noise maker in class. First she makes sure she has finished her work, then goes on disturbing others. Every teacher is complaining

I looked at her suspeciously. Her innocent looking made me to question the teacher’s remarks. I wanted to hear it from the horse’s mouth. True to the accusations, she testified that after playing a bad girl at school, she becomes too tied and that makes her to be cool when at home.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. From that day I promised myself never again judge the book by it’s cover.

Have you ever been in a such scenario where you think your child is what he or she is not?

A certain lady was told by her neighbours that her teenage girl had been seen with suspecious company when the parents were away. She was very mad on it and told her neighbours to leave her girl alone and they were just jealous of her.

After two weeks, the lady received an anonymous call informing her that her girl had been arrested for gun trafficking and she should go to the police station.

Afterwards, the girl took the police to their house where she was hiding the guns. Seeing this, the mother fainted and was rushed to the hospital.

What should we do as parents when we hear these allegations?

My opinion…..listen carefully to what is being said. Before you act, come up with your own ways to investigate what you have been told. If the child is smarter, involve your close friends and her peers secretly just to get to know the reality. This will give you a chance to study every move your child is undertaking. Be calm to both the child and whoever gave you the news.

With this, you will be able to get to the root of the matter and henceforth deal with it as required.

Though people can be malicious sometimes, never ignore before you get to know what is happening. Let not your love to the child blindfold you not to see the reality.

More on children discipline and on teenage relationship is discussed here.

I would love to hear how you solved the problem or how you can do it incase such scenario crosses your path… comment.

Categories
Business news Education news kenya News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Why we need to come up with new strategies amidst the pandemic

Do you believe in this statement that says, ” a blessing in disguise?” Sometimes some pressure is applied in own lives to make us leave our comfort zones. It isn’t always that tragedy strike for the worse. When this happens, let’s sit and reflect on the positive change we can make out of the situation. We may be tempted to complain, but life must continue….So what? ..Come up with new strategy to counteract the situation…try out other skills…be positive and move forward.

You can too learn it from this Story:

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a Chinese wise man and his disciple. One day during their travels, they saw a hut in the distance. As they approached it, they realized that it was occupied, in spite of its extremely poor appearance.

In that desolate place where there were no crops and no trees, a man lived with his wife, three young children and a thin, tired cow. Since they were hungry and thirsty, the wise man and his disciple stopped for a few hours and were well received. At one point, the wise man asked:
“This is a very poor place, far away from anything. How do you survive?”
“You see that cow? That’s what keeps us going,” said the head of the family. “She gives us milk, some of it we drink and some we turn into cheese. When there is extra, we go into the city and exchange the milk and cheese for other types of food. That’s how we survive.”

The wise man thanked them for their hospitality and left. When he reached the first bend in the road, he said to his disciple:

“Go back, get the cow, take her to the cliff in front of us, and push her off.” The disciple could not believe what he was hearing.

“I cannot do that, master! How can you be so ungrateful? The cow is all they have. If I throw it off the cliff, they will have no way of surviving. Without the cow, they will all die!”

The wise man, an elderly Chinese man, took a deep breath and repeated the order:“Go ahead. Push the cow off the cliff.”

Though outraged at what he was being asked to do, the disciple had to obey his master. He returned to the hut and quietly led the animal to the edge of the cliff and pushed. The cow fell down the cliff and died.

As the years passed by, remorse for what he had done never left the disciple. One spring day, the guilt became too much to bear and he left the wise man and returned to that little shack. He wanted to find out what had happened to that family, to help them out, apologize, or somehow make amends. Upon rounding a turn in the road, he could not believe what his eyes were showing him. In place of the poor shack, there was a beautiful house with trees all around, a swimming pool, several cars in the garage, a satellite dish, and more. Three good-looking teenagers and their parents were celebrating their first million dollars.

The heart of the disciple froze. What could have happened to the family? Without a doubt, they must have been starving to death and forced to sell their land and leave. At that moment, the disciple thought they must all be begging on the street corners of some city. He approached the house and asked a man that was passing by, about the whereabouts of the family that had lived there several years before.

“You are looking at it,” said the man, pointing to the people gathered around the barbecue. Unable to believe what he was hearing, the disciple walked through the gate and took a few steps closer to the pool where he recognized the man from several years before, only now he was strong and confident, the woman was happy, and the children were now good looking teenagers. He was dumbfounded, and went over to the man and asked:

“What happened? I was here with my teacher a few years ago and this was a miserable place. There was nothing. What did you do to improve your lives in such a short time?”

The man looked at the disciple, and replied with a smile:

“We had a cow that kept us alive. She was all we had. But one day she fell down the cliff and died. To survive, we had to start doing other things, develop skills we didn’t even know we had. And so, because we were forced to come up with new ways of doing things, we are now much better off than before.”

My question is, WHO OR WHAT IS THAT ‘COW’ IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU NEED TO PUSH OFF THE CLIFF? _Many a time, we have let our dependence on certain people, things or situation, create a comfort zone and limit us from achieving greater things. Personally, I am very ‘cautious’ in nature and it takes me a lot to let go and climb to another level. You may feel terrible at first, but in the end, it will all be worth it.

From the conversation in the end, the man says that they had to develop skills and do other things when their only ‘source of survival was dead’. At times we need to lose that job to realize that we can actually do well in business. Sometimes that business needs to fail, to realize that we can do well in other things. Sometimes a situation in our lives may have to fail for us to realize that we deserve and can get better.

The pandemic may have pushed your cow down the cliff. The cow that made you not to realize your full potential. Do not cry anymore… Stand up! … venture into your hidden skills and you will make it!

Hope you have learnt something too. Feel free to comment on it….follow too for more posts.

Categories
Education news kenya News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Why we need ‘sex awareness’ for our children

For a long time, talking about sex especially in front of children has been considered as a taboo. Questions that were asked by children like – where do children come from? Was always brushed off or given a wrong answer all together. Some parents could give answers such as: they were bought from the hospital, an aeroplane brought the baby and many more. How was your community responding to this queries? Kindly let’s know by commenting.

This behaviour has kept the children naive until their world was engulfed with online stuff. Here, they can get all the answers they want though some have been so misleading. Some children have gone further by practising what they see on social media. Others got influenced by peers or celebrities.

No matter how we denie them access to information, there is always a way out.

So, what next? It is good to let them know what to expect from their surrounding may it physical or virtual and the consequences of getting involved with some stuff.

Though they say ignorance has no defense, some of these children get to the traps unknowingly. This attitude of hiding the real life to them is getting them off guard. Having nothing they can use to their defense not even little knowledge on what would happen to them incase they find themselves in trouble.

Unfortunately, our keeping quiet does not make them not to try out what they watch and see online or in social media. I feel it is important we educate them on some issues. Here I am having a talk on sexual misuse explaining why and when not to get involved.

On sex relationship with relatives and animals, it has been happening and it’s time we call a spade a spade. Let’s put everything in black and white. We should not continue hiding our heads in the sand while our young ones are drowning. When these issues are reported by media, we tend to ignore but the truth is our children are getting notes out of them.

I felt there is a need to sensitize them through the video…watch, like and share them to Help me reach more of them.

For more on teenage life and parenting, visit my previous posts here.

Categories
Education news In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

The best top 100 Girls’ Names to give your daughter 2020

Almost to welcome your pink jet and wonder the best name to give?…Not any more…here come some of the best girls’ names!

  1. Emma
  2. Olivia
  3. Ava
  4. Isabella
  5. Sophia
  6. Charlotte
  7. Mia
  8. Amelia
  9. Harper
  10. Evelyn
  11. Abigail
  12. Emily
  13. Elizabeth
  14. Mila
  15. Ella
  16. Avery
  17. Sofia
  18. Camila
  19. Aria
  20. Scarlett
  21. Victoria
  22. Madison
  23. Luna
  24. Grace
  25. Chloe
  26. Penelope
  27. Layla
  28. Riley
  29. Zoey
  30. Nora
  31. Lily
  32. Eleanor
  33. Hannah
  34. Lillian
  35. Addison
  36. Aubrey
  37. Ellie
  38. Stella
  39. Natalie
  40. Zoe
  41. Leah
  42. Hazel
  43. Violet
  44. Aurora
  45. Savannah
  46. Audrey
  47. Brooklyn
  48. Bella
  49. Claire
  50. Skylar
  51. Lucy
  52. Paisley
  53. Everly
  54. Anna
  55. Caroline
  56. Nova
  57. Genesis
  58. Emilia
  59. Kennedy
  60. Samantha
  61. Maya
  62. Willow
  63. Kinsley
  64. Naomi
  65. Aaliyah
  66. Elena
  67. Sarah
  68. Ariana
  69. Allison
  70. Gabriella
  71. Alice
  72. Madelyn
  73. Cora
  74. Ruby
  75. Eva
  76. Serenity
  77. Autumn
  78. Adeline
  79. Hailey
  80. Gianna
  81. Valentina
  82. Isla
  83. Eliana
  84. Quinn
  85. Nevaeh
  86. Ivy
  87. Sadie
  88. Piper
  89. Lydia
  90. Alexa
  91. Josephine
  92. Emery
  93. Julia
  94. Delilah
  95. Arianna
  96. Vivian
  97. Kaylee
  98. Sophie
  99. Brielle
  100. Madeline
Categories
In Africa kenya News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

My YouTube videos – Ciscas

As we raise our children, there are many obstacles that comes on our way. My Let’s know YouTube channel has tried to discuss some of them. If you haven’t visited it, kindly do it. Like, share and subscribe. Always remember to put notification on incase you miss the up coming videos.

Ciscasquapro

I take this opportunity to welcome all parents to my YouTube channel – Let’s Know

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClyvkMUdMAmiYR08kOUB4Ng

The stuff here will be based on parenting.

Kindly like, share with other parents and subscribe. Put notification on so that you don’t miss upcoming videos.

There is a sister channel Ciscas which has Children stuff on morals and values…

Help kids connect to it. It will be of great help to them. Here it is..

View original post

Categories
In Africa kenya News Parenting Readers The world

Best way to use your leisure time

Go for charity work. Yes voluntary duties. This is the best way you can use your leisure time. Plus…. visiting the sick, the needy and elderly….

But due to the pandemic, it makes this a bit difficult or if done, we should be cautious to prevent spread of the virus – corona virus.

Pray for them too…offer service where possible.

See more posts here

Categories
In Africa kenya News Parenting Readers The world

Mother abuses her child

Have you ever insulted your child? Has your child suffered from name calling? Have you ever thought how this could cause a great mental harm to your child? Verbal abuse should not be taken lightly. This happens more with mothers than fathers. I believe after reading the article below , you will never do it again! You can as well watch the video below.

Daisy was a grade three child. She was a quiet girl who did her work silently. She wasn’t social and most of the time she spent all alone. Let me say that she wasn’t gifted in class work. She lived with her mother who didn’t understand her at all. Most of the time is when she scolded her calling her names like cow, dog, donkey, foolish and stupid.

There was this one name she liked calling her mostly, “Ng’ombe” meaning cow. Anytime she did something wrong, she would shout at her,” Ng’ombe!”

One day , while at school, they were asked to do a quiz which she got nothing.The teacher was so annoyed as she thought the quiz was easy for everyone in class. So she shouted at her,” Kwa nini unafanya kama ng’ombe? ” meaning, ” Why are you behaving like a cow?”

Daisy walked to her desk feeling devastated. She was afraid of becoming the laughing stock of the class. Having reached where she usually sat, she covered her face using her sweater and cried bitterly.

It was during the creative lesson one afternoon when the teacher issued the learners with plain papers. Then she told them, ” On this paper, draw anything you may think of. Make your picture as attractive as you can.”

Every learner was excited to have the lesson. They enjoyed the creative writing and after some time the teacher collected the papers for analysis.

When she was going through the work, she came across this one paper. On it, a cow with a human head was drawn! To her amazement, the paper belonged to Daisy. Before the class could leave for break, she requested Daisy to be left behind.

” Why did you draw such an animal? I haven’t seen such a creature!” she asked Daisy. Daisy looked at her and started crying. It took a long time before the teacher could convince her to talk. Finally, she was ready to let it out.

” My mother always calls me a cow anytime I do a mistake. I have never known I am one until you asked me why I was behaving like one! When you asked as to draw, I tried to imagine how I looked like in the eyes of my mother and that’s what I came out with.” she narrated.

The teacher was very sorry and remorseful. She apologized to Daisy and after some talk with her, she decided to invite the mother to come to school where they talked at length about the issue. They swallowed their pride by apologizing to Daisy and promised that it wouldn’t happen again.

This was the beginning of a new Daisy! Everything seemed to change beyond expectations. Her performance improved as her self esteem too. She became the peer leader in upper classes and participated in most of the school activities. What a good ending!

From the above we can all see what insults and verbal abuse can do to our children. Let’s all refrain from calling our children names, insulting and scolding unnecessarily. This may cause mental challenges in our children leaving them stressed. As we discipline and make them responsible , it is always good to use kind words. We should avoid damaging their self esteem as this may bring a great harm to their lives.

Want to read more? Get it here Let’s connect as you drop your comment. For more of this, you only need to follow.

Categories
kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world

How to deal with a teenage boy’s behaviour – Ciscasquapro

As I mentioned in the previous post on raising a teenage boy it is not as easy because this is the time when the boys feel they have become men. The recent incident on the teenage boy who stole his father’s car and caused a fatal accident is only a few of example s to show that boys can go any extent at this age. Below are a few keys to look into when dealing with These teenage boys. Also see on how to discipline the children. If you missed the post on teenagers and Relationship, you may want to see it here

Five Keys for Dealing with Teenage Boy Behavior:

  • Set limits. First, parents and teen boys agree to set rules that both agree on. The rules are based on shared values about staying safe and keeping harmony in the family.
  • Write it down. Furthermore, families might consider drafting a written agreement. Therefore, the guidelines and boundaries are clear to everyone.
  • Agree on consequences. Next, parents and sons agree on age-appropriate consequences that will go into effect if the rules are broken. For example, a consequence might be loss of car privileges or an earlier curfew. Moreover, the consequence should be age-appropriate.
  • Invoke restitution. In addition, parents and teen boys can use a consequence known as restitution or restoration. Hence, teens help make a situation better after violating the shared contract. For example, if they get a speeding ticket, they pay it on their own. Or they take steps to repair a relationship with a sibling after a fight. As a result, a teen can earn back parents’ trust.
  • Avoid severe punishment. However, severe punishment is not the best approach for dealing with your teenage son. In fact, punishment can make things worse. Teenage boys may feel rejected and resentful. Hence, they may withdraw further from their parents.

See more of my posts. You may drop your comment and like. More so, kindly share with those whom you love.

Categories
In Africa kenya News Parenting Readers The world

Teenage Boy Steals Father’s Car, Kills 3 People -operanewsapp

https://www.operanewsapp.com/detail/65a4952e9f9722f5324d51a80277d3c0-teenage-boy-steals-father-s-car-kills-3-people

Categories
kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Raising a teenage boy – ciscasquapro

Wondering how to deal with your teenage son? Or how to raise teenage sons in general? Many other parents are also seeking advice for understanding teenage boys.

Raising teenagers isn’t always easy. And teenage boy behavior can be challenging. But teen boys aren’t trying to be difficult.

Rather, their actions and attitudes are the result of physiological and emotional turbulence during the adolescent years. And the question of how to deal with your teenage son becomes easy to answer. What do kids really need? And how can we practice awareness to create authentic connection? See this teenage boy who caused serious accident after stealing his father’s car.

The Basics of How to Deal with Your Teenage Son

A few keys for how to deal with your teenage son: Communicate with him often, do things together as much as possible, and give him unconditional love.

Of course, all that is easier said than done. However, understanding teenage sons may be less of a problem when you’re familiar with the process of adolescent development.

Remember, teen boys are growing in all sorts of ways. Therefore, you can offer compassion and support. Moreover, trying a few new approaches to parenting teen boys can help.

First, let’s look at the growth process that’s taking place in a teenage boy’s body.

What’s Happening in a Teenage Son’s Body and Brain

Teenage boy behavior is controlled in large part by the many hormonal and biological changes that occur during puberty. In boys, puberty starts between 10 and 14 years old. And teenage boys are physically mature around age 15 or 16. Hence, boys grow taller, develop larger muscles, and get deeper voices.

Along with physical changes, teen boys experience emotional and behavioral changes. Teen puberty is an exciting time, full of new emotions and feelings. Therefore, it affects teenage boy behavior as well as their interest in sex and relationships.

Furthermore, the adolescent brain is still developing throughout the teenage years. Moreover, the area of the brain that’s responsible for judgment and decision-making remains under construction. This area, the prefrontal cortex, doesn’t fully mature until the mid-20s. Hence, teen boys are more susceptible to shifting impulses and emotions during teen puberty. How to deal with your teenage son gets complicated.

Five Keys for Dealing with Teenage Boy Behavior:

  • Set limits. First, parents and teen boys agree to set rules that both agree on. The rules are based on shared values about staying safe and keeping harmony in the family.
  • Write it down. Furthermore, families might consider drafting a written agreement. Therefore, the guidelines and boundaries are clear to everyone.
  • Agree on consequences. Next, parents and sons agree on age-appropriate consequences that will go into effect if the rules are broken. For example, a consequence might be loss of car privileges or an earlier curfew. Moreover, the consequence should be age-appropriate.
  • Invoke restitution. In addition, parents and teen boys can use a consequence known as restitution or restoration. Hence, teens help make a situation better after violating the shared contract. For example, if they get a speeding ticket, they pay it on their own. Or they take steps to repair a relationship with a sibling after a fight. As a result, a teen can earn back parents’ trust.
  • Avoid severe punishment. However, severe punishment is not the best approach for dealing with your teenage son. In fact, punishment can make things worse. Teenage boys may feel rejected and resentful. Hence, they may withdraw further from their parents.

Self-Care in Teenage Boys

Teenage boys are notorious for poor self care. That is, many teen boys don’t sleep enough. In addition, they eat junk food and drink beverages high in sugar. Furthermore, they may not shower or wash on a daily basis. And they might neglect physical exercise—sometimes in favor of screen time.

In part, teen boys’ poor self-care comes from being self-conscious about their changing bodies. The physical development that comes with puberty can trigger body-image and self-esteem issues. Hence, teens don’t know how to deal with body odor, acne, and/or oily hair—all of which can come with puberty.

This teenage boy behavior can be helped by setting routines around healthy eating, exercise, and good sleep hygiene when their son is young. In addition, younger adolescent boys might need basic information about grooming and self-care during puberty. If parents aren’t comfortable sharing this information themselves, they might instead find a book or pamphlet. Subsequently, they can leave it in their son’s room for him to read when he’s ready. No need to make a big deal about it—remember, teen boys are easily embarrassed. Later, at an appropriate time, ask if he has any questions about what he read.

Setting Limits on Screen Time for Teen Boys

What can parents do to help their sons unplug? When kids are younger, parents can set time limits. But that becomes harder to enforce as teens get older.

Therefore, parents need to carve out times with no screens allowed, such as meals and family activities. And they need to model this behavior by staying off their own phones and other devices.

Moreover, after a certain hour of the evening, parents can turn off the WiFi so teens can’t use the Internet. Teens should know this isn’t a punishment. Rather, screen time disturbs sleep. So it’s important to unplug an hour or more before bed to allow the nervous system’s relaxation response to kick in.

In addition, just as with self-care, good habits stick best when they are instilled early. Parents can help teenage boys develop habits that take them away from screens.

Relationships Between Mothers and Sons

As boys grow into teens, their relationships with their mothers can become a little bumpy. That’s because teenage sons and mothers need to create appropriate boundaries. For teen boys, part of maturing is becoming more independent from their mothers. Hence, a teenage son being disrespectful to his mother is a sign that he is pulling away to learn how to care for himself.

Fathers often connect with their teenage sons by doing things together. However, mothers and teenage sons sometimes have fewer interests in common. Therefore, mothers need to find ways to spend time with their teenage sons while also giving them their space, this is an important part of understand teenage sons and their needs.

Communicating with Your Teenage Son

Teen boys aren’t known for their skill in communication. Often, teenage sons find it difficult to put their emotions into words. Understanding teenage sons begins with knowing they may not feel comfortable sharing their innermost thoughts with their parents.

As a result, parents can get frustrated and feel ignored. Instead, try the following approaches.

  • Keep it short and sweet. If you have something you need him to know, offer a series of clear points. Subsequently, let him respond to each.
  • Don’t overdo the eye contact. While eye contact is often recommended for effective communication, that doesn’t hold true for dealing with your teenage son. Instead, it might overwhelm or intimidate him. For that reason, driving in the car together can be a good time for talking.
  • Talk while you’re in action. Many teen boys find it easier to communicate when they’re doing something else at the same time. So have your chat while playing a game, taking a hike, or preparing dinner together.
  • Stay calm. When assessing how to deal with your teenage son, don’t let your emotions get the upper hand. Showing anger or frustration may drive him deeper into his shell. As a result, he will be less likely to come to you for support.
  • Give him time to process. Many teenage boys need a few hours or even days to think about important conversations. Therefore, don’t be disappointed if your teenage son doesn’t change his behavior or attitude right away. Let him take in the information and then process it in his own time.

Finally, Never Underestimate the Power of Parents

Sometimes parents might feel that their teenage son has no interest in them. But parents shouldn’t let that fool them. How to deal with your teenage son is stay involved, no matter what.

As a result, this ongoing relationship supports teen mental health and decreases substance abuse. Moreover, healthy teen-parent relationships help adolescents grow into strong, independent young adults.

It is always good to maintain discipline and give the right chores according to the age.

Categories
kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world

10 things every teenage girl should know – Ciscasquapro

As narrated by (Nancy)

1. You are valuable standing alone! I wasted so much time during my teen years focusing on guys! I felt insignificant and alone without their attention. I wish I would have known that my value is something that I choose to believe in– not something someone gives me. Girls, you are amazing, beautiful, and special right here, right now, just as you are. Don’t ever give in to the pressure to use your body, your words, or your actions in a compromising way just to get his attention. You are enough. Learn to believe that now, because that truth will change your entire life!

2. How you dress will attract a certain kind of guy. I know you get it girls- we all want to catch their eye don’t we? But what we don’t always realize is that when you catch a guy with your body, you’ll have to keep him with your body. There is so much more about who you are than the size of your boobs or the size of your waist. Learn to respect yourself, and accentuate the beauty of your heart, your mind, and your spirit. Because those are exactly the kind of things that will snag a really good man.

3. Your parents might not always get it, but they usually know what’s good for you. I know it’s hard to believe now, because it seems like they are so far removed from what you’re going through, but one thing I wish I would have done during my teen years is actually pay more attention to what my parents were saying. They knew me and loved me better than I even knew and loved myself, and the limits they set were almost always for my good. Now that I have children, I see that more than I ever could have imagined. I wish I would have trusted them more.

4. Hang in there; no matter how bad it feels right now, it will pass. If you thought the last lesson was hard to believe, this one’s even harder. I get it –that breakup, those betraying friends, the gossip that’s going around about you– can feel like the most devastating things in the moment. But as hard as they are, and as bad as you may feel, believe me: IT WILL PASS. Don’t be afraid to cry out for help, to talk to someone you love, and to reach out. But always remember that you are strong, you are capable, and you will get through this. Don’t give it the power to ruin your life.

5. You teach people how they are allowed to treat you. I have to admit, I’m still learning this one at times. But the truth is, you have more control than you could even imagine. You are allowed to walk away, to distance yourself, and to put a stop to those people who are treating you poorly. Teach people how they can treat you, by setting your standards high. You owe it to yourself.

6. Don’t care so much about what people think. It’s easy to place our value in what people think of us, but we’ll find ourselves on a never-ending emotional roller coaster when we realize we will never, ever make everyone happy. Love life, make good choices, do the right thing, and always live for an audience of One.

7. The road less traveled is usually the right one. I remember saying NO to so many things that everyone else seemed to be saying YES to. I can’t even tell you how hard that was at times, and how much I wanted to give in to that pressure. But now that I’m here, I look back and I can’t even thank God enough for helping me choose the road less traveled, and making good choices even when it was hard. Just because everyone’s doing it, doesn’t mean it’s good. I’m glad I didn’t have to learn that the hard way.

8. Your body doesn’t define you–you define yourself. Teen or not, this is something we wrestle with as girls on and off throughout our lives. But the truth is, we can’t let our bodies define us, because we have the power to define ourselves. Take the time to love yourself, to focus on your strengths, and to be grateful for the body God has given you. And then remember: You are the daughter of A King – live like it!

9. Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken. I remember trying so hard to fit in to places and people that I was never meant to fit. It took a while to find myself after losing myself in the crowd of everyone I was trying to be. But I finally learned to embrace myself, love my personality, and appreciate my quirks. God made you special just the way you are- so be yourself.

10. God has an amazing plan for your life, but it’s up to you to choose it. I think it’s easy to forget that good things can really happen. It’s easy to be filled with fears and worries in the moment, and doubt God’s great plans and purpose for our life. Sometimes we settle for an okay life, because we don’t believe there’s something better. But beautiful girls, you are destined for great things! Believe it, and then live it…

Want to know more on teenagers and relationship? Read and other posts too… teenagers , pregnancy , others

Categories
News Parenting Readers The world

Teenagers’ relationships: when and how to talk about it – Ciscas

Romantic relationships are a major developmental milestone. They come with all the other changes going on during adolescence – physical, social and emotional. And they’re linked to your child’s growing interest in body image and looks, independence and privacy. The idea that your child might have these kinds of feelings can sometimes be a bit confronting for you. But these feelings are leading your child towards a deeper capacity to care, share and develop intimate relationships.

When teenage relationships start

There isn’t a ‘right age’ to start having relationships – every child is different, and every family will feel differently about this issue. But here are some averages:

  • From 9-11 years, your child might start to show more independence from your family and more interest in friends.
  • From 10-14 years, your child might want to spend more time in mixed gender groups, which might eventually end up in a romantic relationship.
  • From 15-19 years, romantic relationships can become central to social life. Friendships might become deeper and more stable.

Many teenagers spend a lot of time thinking and talking about being in a relationship. In these years, teenage relationships might last only a few weeks or months. It’s also normal for children to have no interest in romantic relationships until their late teens. Some choose to focus on schoolwork, sport or other interests.

Early teenage relationships

Younger teenagers usually hang out together in groups. If the person your child is interested in is older or younger, it could be worth mentioning that people of different ages might want different things from relationships.The most influential role models for teenagers are the grown-ups . Just talking about both men and women respectfully lets your child know you think everyone is equal and valuable.

Talking about teenage relationships with your child

Your family plays a big part in the way your child thinks about teenage relationships.

When you encourage conversations about feelings, friendships and family relationships, it can help your child feel confident to talk about teenage relationships in general. If your child knows what respectful relationships look like in general, she can relate this directly to romantic relationships.

These conversations might mean that your child will feel more comfortable sharing his feelings with you as he starts to get romantically interested in others. And the conversations can also bring up other important topics, like treating other people kindly, breaking up kindly and respecting other people’s boundaries.

Having conversations with your child about sex and relationships from a young age might mean your child feels more comfortable to ask you questions as she moves into adolescence.

In some ways, talking about romantic and/or sexual teenage relationships is like talking about friendships or going to a party. Depending on your values and family rules, you and your child might need to discuss behaviour and ground rules, and consequences for breaking the rules. For example, you might talk about how much time your child spends with his girlfriend or boyfriend versus how much time he spends studying, or whether it’s OK for his girlfriend or boyfriend to stay over.

You might also want to agree on some strategies for what your child should do if she feels unsafe or threatened.

Young people might also talk to their friends, which is healthy and normal. They still need your back-up, though, so keeping the lines of communication open is important.

Sex and teenage relationships

If your child is in a relationship, it can bring up questions about sex and intimacy.

Not all teenage relationships include sex, but most teenagers will experiment with sexual behaviour at some stage. This is why your child need information on sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

This could also be your chance to talk together about dealing with unwanted sexual and peer pressure. If you keep the lines of communication open and let your child know that you’re there to listen, he’ll be more likely to come to you with questions and concerns.

For more of our posts, see here

Categories
In Africa kenya Latest news My kitchen News Parenting Readers The world

Chores for Children of different ages

Children can help out around the house in many different ways. For example, they can simply go outside to play when the grown-ups need to do big jobs in the house. Some families expect older children to help with younger children – amusing them, distracting them, protecting them and so on.

Here are some ideas for chores for children of different ages.

Toddlers (2-3 years)

  • Pick up toys and books.
  • Put clothes on clothes hooks.
  • Set placemats on the dinner table.

Preschoolers (4-5 years)

  • Set the table for meals.
  • Help with preparing meals, under supervision.
  • Help put clean clothes into piles for each family member, ready to fold.
  • Help with grocery shopping and putting away groceries.
  • Hand you wet clothes to be hung out to dry.

School-age children (6-8 years)

  • Water the garden and indoor plants.
  • Feed pets.
  • Clean the bathroom sink, wipe down kitchen benches, mop floors or take out rubbish.
  • Help hang out clothes and fold washing.
  • Put away crockery and cutlery.
  • Help with choosing meals and shopping.
  • Help with meal preparation and serving, under supervision.

Why should children do chores? See it here and also more posts . You are free to leave your comment and also to follow me for more insights.

Categories
In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

Reasons why doing household chores is good for children

Children can learn a lot from doing household chores. Here is a video on children and house chores…for more of such…just subscribe..

Doing chores helps children learn about what they need to do to care for themselves, a home and a family. They learn skills they can use in their adult lives, like preparing meals, cleaning, organising and keeping a garden.

Being involved in chores also gives children experience of relationship skills like communicating clearly, negotiating, cooperating and working as a team.

When children contribute to family life, it helps them feel competent and responsible. Even if they don’t enjoy the chore, when they keep going they get the feeling of satisfaction that comes with finishing a task.

And sharing housework can also help families work better and reduce family stress. When children help out, chores get done sooner, and parents have less to do. This frees up time for the family to spend doing fun things together.

How to involve the child

The secret for involving children in household chores is asking for contributions that you value and that suit your children’s ages and abilities. A chore that’s too hard for a child can be frustrating – or even dangerous – and one that’s too easy might be boring.

Even a young child can start to help out if you choose activities that are right for his age. You can start with simple jobs like looking after his own toys. Chores like this send the message to your child that his contribution is important.

It’s also important to think about chores or tasks that get your child involved in caring for the family as a whole. A simple one is getting your child to help with setting or clearing the table. Jobs like these are likely to give your child a sense of responsibility and participation.

If your child is old enough, you can have a family discussion about chores. This can reinforce the idea that the whole family contributes to how the household runs. Children over six years old can help decide which chores they’d prefer.

You can motivate your child to get involved in chores by:

  • doing the chore together until your child is ready to do it on her own
  • being clear about what each person’s chores are for each day or week – write them down so they’re easy to remember
  • talking about why it’s great that a particular job has been done
  • showing an interest in how your child has done the job.

You can also see other posts on children. You are free to leave your comment and follow us too for more updates.

Categories
In Africa kenya News Parenting Readers The world

Children and mental health

It’s important to recognize and treat mental illnesses in children early on. Once mental illness develops, it becomes a regular part of your child’s behavior. This makes it more difficult to treat.

But it’s not always easy to know when your child has a serious problem. Everyday stresses can cause changes in your child’s behavior. For example, getting a new brother or sister or going to a new school may cause a child to temporarily act out. Warning signs that it might be a more serious problem include

  • Problems in more than one setting (at school, at home, with peers)
  • Changes in appetite or sleep
  • Social withdrawal or fear of things he or she did not used to be not afraid of
  • Returning to behaviors more common in younger children, such as bedwetting
  • Signs of being upset, such as sadness or tearfulness
  • Signs of self-destructive behavior, such as head-banging or suddenly getting hurt often
  • Repeated thoughts of death

To diagnose mental health problems, the doctor or mental health specialist looks at your child’s signs and symptoms, medical history, and family history. Treatments include medicines and talk therapy.

Take action when you can make a difference. Also read stress in Children and discipline in children.

Categories
Education news In Africa kenya News Parenting Readers The world

The best way to discipline your child

Should we discipline?

All children misbehave sometimes. As a parent, you have to decide how you will respond. Your child needs rules to understand how to behave.

Discipline involves both punishment and rewards. When you discipline your children, you are teaching them what is good behavior and what is not good behavior. Discipline is important to:

  • Protect children from harm
  • Teach self-discipline
  • Develop good social skills

Parent

Every parent has their own parenting style. You may be strict or you may be laid back. The key is to:

  • Set clear expectations
  • Be consistent
  • Be loving

TIPS FOR EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE

Try these parenting pointers:

Reward good behavior. As much as you can, try to focus on the positive. Let your children know that you are pleased when they are behaving the way you wish. By showing your approval, you encourage good behavior and help build self-esteem.

Let natural consequences teach your child. While it is not easy, you should not always prevent bad things from happening. If your child is frustrated with a toy and breaks it, let him learn that he no longer has that toy to play with.

Consider your child’s age when setting limits or punishing. DO NOT expect more from your child than your child can do. For example, a toddler cannot control the impulse to touch things. Instead of trying to tell her not to touch, put fragile objects out of reach.

Be clear. Let your child know ahead of time what you will be doing for discipline. DO NOT make it up in the heat of the moment. Tell your child what behavior needs to change and what you will do if it does not.

Tell your child exactly what you expect from him. Rather than saying, “Your room is messy,” tell the child what needs to be picked up or cleaned. For example, tell your child to put the toys away and make the bed. Explain what the punishment will be if he does not take care of his room.

DO NOT argue. Once you have set expectations, do not get dragged into an argument about what’s fair. DO NOT keep defending yourself once you have stated what you want. Remind your child about the rules you have set and leave it at that.

Be consistent. DO NOT change rules or punishments at random. If more than one adult is disciplining the child, work together. It is confusing to your child when one caregiver accepts certain behaviors but the other caregiver punishes for the same behavior. Your child may learn to play one adult against the other.

Show respect. Treat your child with respect. By respecting your child, you build trust. Behave the way you want your child to behave.

Follow through on your discipline. If you tell your child that she will lose her TV time today if she hits, be prepared to turn off the TV for the day.

DO NOT make huge threats of punishment that you will never do. When you threaten a punishment but do not follow through, your child learns that you do not mean what you say.

Instead, pick punishments that you can and are willing to do. For example, if your kids are fighting, say: “The fighting must stop now, if you do not stop, we will not go to the movies.” If your kids do not stop fighting, DO NOT go to the movies. Your kids will learn that you mean what you say.

Be calm, friendly, and firm. A child may become angry, tearful, or sad, or may start a tantrum. The calmer your behavior is, the more likely your children will pattern their behavior after yours. If you spank or hit, you are showing them that it is acceptable to solve problems with violence.

Look for patterns. Does your child always get upset and act out over the same thing or in the same situation? If you understand what triggers your child’s behavior, you may be able to prevent or avoid it.

Know when to apologize. Remember that being a parent is a hard job. Sometimes you will get out of control and not behave well. When this happens, apologize to your child. Let him know that you will respond differently the next time.

Help your child with tantrums. Allow your children to express their feelings, but at the same time, help them cope with anger and frustration without violent or aggressive behavior. Here are some tips on dealing with temper tantrums:

  • When you see your child starting to get worked-up, distract her attention with a new activity.
  • If distraction does not work, ignore your child. Every time you react to a tantrum, you reward the negative behavior with extra attention. Scolding, punishing, or even trying to reason with the child may cause your child to act up more.
  • If you are in public, remove the child without discussion or fuss. Wait until the child calms down before resuming your activities.
  • If the tantrum involves hitting, biting, or other harmful behavior, DO NOT ignore it. Tell the child that the behavior will not be tolerated. Move the child away for a few minutes.
  • Remember, children cannot understand lots of explanations. DO NOT attempt to reason. Give the punishment right away. If you wait, the child will not connect the punishment with the behavior.
  • DO NOT give into your rules during a tantrum. If you give in, your child has learned that tantrums work.

What you need to know about spanking. Experts have found that spanking:

  • Can make children more aggressive.
  • Can get out of control and the child can get hurt.
  • Teaches children that it is OK to hurt someone they love.
  • Teaches children to be afraid of their parent.
  • Teaches children to avoid being caught, rather than learning better behavior.
  • May reinforce bad behavior in children acting out just to get attention. Even negative attention is better than no attention.

It is the desire of every parent to have a disciplined child. See how to know when your child is stressed..Read more

Categories
In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world Uncategorized

How to know when your child is stressed

Children also get stressed

The challenges that have come with the corona virus are not only being experienced by adult but children are not spared too. Children have been suffering silently without parents’ knowledge.

Childhood stress can be present in any setting that requires the child to adapt or change. Stress may be caused by positive changes, such as starting a new activity, but it is most commonly linked with negative changes such as illness or death in the family.

You can help your child by learning to recognize the signs of stress and teaching your child healthy ways to deal with it.

Stress may be a response to a negative change in a child’s life. In small amounts, stress can be good. But, excessive stress can affect the way a child thinks, acts, and feels.

Children learn how to respond to stress as they grow and develop. Many stressful events that an adult can manage will cause stress in a child. As a result, even small changes can impact a child’s feelings of safety and security.

Pain, injury, illness, and other changes are stressors for children. Stressors may include:

  • Worrying about schoolwork or grades
  • Juggling responsibilities, such as school and work or sports
  • Problems with friends, bullying, or peer group pressures
  • Changing schools, moving, or dealing with housing problems or homelessness
  • Having negative thoughts about themselves
  • Going through body changes, in both boys and girls
  • Seeing parents go through a divorce or separation
  • Money problems in the family
  • Living in an unsafe home or neighborhood

SIGNS OF UNRESOLVED STRESS IN CHILDREN

Children may not recognize that they are stressed. New or worsening symptoms may lead parents to suspect an increased stress level is present.

Physical symptoms can include:

  • Decreased appetite, other changes in eating habits
  • Headache
  • New or recurrent bedwetting
  • Nightmares
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Upset stomach or vague stomach pain
  • Other physical symptoms with no physical illness

Emotional or behavioral symptoms may include:

  • Anxiety, worry
  • Not able to relax
  • New or recurring fears (fear of the dark, fear of being alone, fear of strangers)
  • Clinging, unwilling to let you out of sight
  • Anger, crying, whining
  • Not able to control emotions
  • Aggressive or stubborn behavior
  • Going back to behaviors present at a younger age
  • Doesn’t want to participate in family or school activities

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP

Parents can help children respond to stress in healthy ways. Following are some tips:

  • Provide a safe, secure, and dependable home.
  • Family routines can be comforting. Having a family dinner or movie night can help relieve or prevent stress.
  • Be a role model. The child looks to you as a model for healthy behavior. Do your best to keep your own stress under control and manage it in healthy ways.
  • Be careful about which television programs, books, and games that young children watch, read, and play. News broadcasts and violent shows or games can produce fears and anxiety.
  • Keep your child informed of anticipated changes such as in jobs or moving.
  • Spend calm, relaxed time with your children.
  • Learn to listen. Listen to your child without being critical or trying to solve the problem right away. Instead work with your child to help them understand and solve what is upsetting to them.
  • Build your child’s feelings of self-worth. Use encouragement and affection. Use rewards,to involve your child in activities where they can succeed.
  • Allow the child opportunities to make choices and have some control in their life. The more your child feels they have control over a situation, the better their response to stress will be.
  • Encourage physical activity.
  • Recognize signs of unresolved stress in your child.
  • Seek help or advice from a health care provider, counselor, or therapist when signs of stress do not decrease or disappear.

WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR

Talk to your child’s provider if your child:

  • Is becoming withdrawn, more unhappy, or depressed
  • Is having problems in school or interacting with friends or family
  • Is unable to control their behavior or anger

We can all help our children on how to cope with stress….also visit other posts here

Categories
In Africa kenya Latest news News Parenting Readers The world

My dog made me know of my pregnancy

Dogs are peculiar creatures which sometimes can be very sensitive. They have been used in search of drugs and explosives. Those who keep them as pets have said that they experience grief after loss. It was strange a lady known as Rachel to realise that her dog reacted differently due to her pregnancy which she came to realise later. This is what she said:

“Apollo was there for me when I had my lows of lows,” Rachel says of the pup, whom she “fell in love with” at the shelter.

Though always loving and protective, there was one day when Apollo left his snout resting on Rachel’s abdomen for an extended period of time. She snapped photos of the sweet moment and remembered finding it unusual for him, but didn’t think too hard beyond that.

Three weeks later, Rachel’s life changed forever when she had a positive pregnancy test, and nine months later, welcomed her son, Donovan.

Though Apollo was your typical high-energy dog, “when that baby came home, I’d never seen Apollo so gentle,” Rachel recalled. Now two-and-a-half years later, “he’s a big brother to my son,” she says, adding that it’s obvious how much he loves his human sibling.

By kate Hogan

You may wonder why the dog could realise that Rachel was Pregnant. Sarah Wilson (a dog trainer) explains this:

Dogs are good in smelling. When a woman is pregnant, it comes with morning sickness and change of hormones behaviour. This makes the body to produce some oduor. When the dog smells, it can react on it differently. This happens mostly if the dog has known the person for sometime. The woman changes her behaviour towards the dog making it demand for more attention.

Sarah Wilson

Get more insights through our posts . Do you agree with this post? Leave your comment below. For more to come, you only need to follow us.