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Category: New year 2021
Should we discipline?
All children misbehave sometimes. As a parent, you have to decide how you will respond. Your child needs rules to understand how to behave.
Discipline involves both punishment and rewards. When you discipline your children, you are teaching them what is good behavior and what is not good behavior. Discipline is important to:
- Protect children from harm
- Teach self-discipline
- Develop good social skills
Parent
Every parent has their own parenting style. You may be strict or you may be laid back. The key is to:
- Set clear expectations
- Be consistent
- Be loving
TIPS FOR EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE
Try these parenting pointers:
Reward good behavior. As much as you can, try to focus on the positive. Let your children know that you are pleased when they are behaving the way you wish. By showing your approval, you encourage good behavior and help build self-esteem.
Let natural consequences teach your child. While it is not easy, you should not always prevent bad things from happening. If your child is frustrated with a toy and breaks it, let him learn that he no longer has that toy to play with.
Consider your child’s age when setting limits or punishing. DO NOT expect more from your child than your child can do. For example, a toddler cannot control the impulse to touch things. Instead of trying to tell her not to touch, put fragile objects out of reach.
Be clear. Let your child know ahead of time what you will be doing for discipline. DO NOT make it up in the heat of the moment. Tell your child what behavior needs to change and what you will do if it does not.
Tell your child exactly what you expect from him. Rather than saying, “Your room is messy,” tell the child what needs to be picked up or cleaned. For example, tell your child to put the toys away and make the bed. Explain what the punishment will be if he does not take care of his room.
DO NOT argue. Once you have set expectations, do not get dragged into an argument about what’s fair. DO NOT keep defending yourself once you have stated what you want. Remind your child about the rules you have set and leave it at that.
Be consistent. DO NOT change rules or punishments at random. If more than one adult is disciplining the child, work together. It is confusing to your child when one caregiver accepts certain behaviors but the other caregiver punishes for the same behavior. Your child may learn to play one adult against the other.
Show respect. Treat your child with respect. By respecting your child, you build trust. Behave the way you want your child to behave.
Follow through on your discipline. If you tell your child that she will lose her TV time today if she hits, be prepared to turn off the TV for the day.
DO NOT make huge threats of punishment that you will never do. When you threaten a punishment but do not follow through, your child learns that you do not mean what you say.
Instead, pick punishments that you can and are willing to do. For example, if your kids are fighting, say: “The fighting must stop now, if you do not stop, we will not go to the movies.” If your kids do not stop fighting, DO NOT go to the movies. Your kids will learn that you mean what you say.
Be calm, friendly, and firm. A child may become angry, tearful, or sad, or may start a tantrum. The calmer your behavior is, the more likely your children will pattern their behavior after yours. If you spank or hit, you are showing them that it is acceptable to solve problems with violence.
Look for patterns. Does your child always get upset and act out over the same thing or in the same situation? If you understand what triggers your child’s behavior, you may be able to prevent or avoid it.
Know when to apologize. Remember that being a parent is a hard job. Sometimes you will get out of control and not behave well. When this happens, apologize to your child. Let him know that you will respond differently the next time.
Help your child with tantrums. Allow your children to express their feelings, but at the same time, help them cope with anger and frustration without violent or aggressive behavior. Here are some tips on dealing with temper tantrums:
- When you see your child starting to get worked-up, distract her attention with a new activity.
- If distraction does not work, ignore your child. Every time you react to a tantrum, you reward the negative behavior with extra attention. Scolding, punishing, or even trying to reason with the child may cause your child to act up more.
- If you are in public, remove the child without discussion or fuss. Wait until the child calms down before resuming your activities.
- If the tantrum involves hitting, biting, or other harmful behavior, DO NOT ignore it. Tell the child that the behavior will not be tolerated. Move the child away for a few minutes.
- Remember, children cannot understand lots of explanations. DO NOT attempt to reason. Give the punishment right away. If you wait, the child will not connect the punishment with the behavior.
- DO NOT give into your rules during a tantrum. If you give in, your child has learned that tantrums work.
What you need to know about spanking. Experts have found that spanking:
- Can make children more aggressive.
- Can get out of control and the child can get hurt.
- Teaches children that it is OK to hurt someone they love.
- Teaches children to be afraid of their parent.
- Teaches children to avoid being caught, rather than learning better behavior.
- May reinforce bad behavior in children acting out just to get attention. Even negative attention is better than no attention.
It is the desire of every parent to have a disciplined child. See how to know when your child is stressed..Read more
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Have you heard of the charlie charlie game which is blowing off the minds of the school going children? It is believed that it connects the player with the spirit of the dead through a ‘supernatural being.’ It is affecting the child mentally and emotionally.
The game involves the use of two pencils or pens. The player mention some words calling the name charlie and respond yes or no. So to parents, this is not just a game to have fun. Watch out!
Others were blue whale and the momo challenge which caused the death of some children.
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Many a time we get ourselves in the midst of the rock and a hard place as we raise our children. We tend to ask ourselves, are we really doing it right? Am I a good parent to my child? Sometimes it becomes hard to answer such questions.
Every parent out there wishes the best for their children, but this doesn’t always happen. As you do your part of parenting, remember to lay your trust onto God. The promise given to you for your children will surely clear your doubt in parenting.
…I will pour out my spirit on your children and my blessings on your descendants. They will thrive like well watered grass, like willows by stream of running water.
Isaiah 44: 3,4
With the above verse, be assured that all shall be well. Claim it today!
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Children also get stressed
The challenges that have come with the corona virus are not only being experienced by adult but children are not spared too. Children have been suffering silently without parents’ knowledge.
Childhood stress can be present in any setting that requires the child to adapt or change. Stress may be caused by positive changes, such as starting a new activity, but it is most commonly linked with negative changes such as illness or death in the family.
You can help your child by learning to recognize the signs of stress and teaching your child healthy ways to deal with it.
Stress may be a response to a negative change in a child’s life. In small amounts, stress can be good. But, excessive stress can affect the way a child thinks, acts, and feels.
Children learn how to respond to stress as they grow and develop. Many stressful events that an adult can manage will cause stress in a child. As a result, even small changes can impact a child’s feelings of safety and security.
Pain, injury, illness, and other changes are stressors for children. Stressors may include:
- Worrying about schoolwork or grades
- Juggling responsibilities, such as school and work or sports
- Problems with friends, bullying, or peer group pressures
- Changing schools, moving, or dealing with housing problems or homelessness
- Having negative thoughts about themselves
- Going through body changes, in both boys and girls
- Seeing parents go through a divorce or separation
- Money problems in the family
- Living in an unsafe home or neighborhood
SIGNS OF UNRESOLVED STRESS IN CHILDREN
Children may not recognize that they are stressed. New or worsening symptoms may lead parents to suspect an increased stress level is present.
Physical symptoms can include:
- Decreased appetite, other changes in eating habits
- Headache
- New or recurrent bedwetting
- Nightmares
- Sleep disturbances
- Upset stomach or vague stomach pain
- Other physical symptoms with no physical illness
Emotional or behavioral symptoms may include:
- Anxiety, worry
- Not able to relax
- New or recurring fears (fear of the dark, fear of being alone, fear of strangers)
- Clinging, unwilling to let you out of sight
- Anger, crying, whining
- Not able to control emotions
- Aggressive or stubborn behavior
- Going back to behaviors present at a younger age
- Doesn’t want to participate in family or school activities
HOW PARENTS CAN HELP
Parents can help children respond to stress in healthy ways. Following are some tips:
- Provide a safe, secure, and dependable home.
- Family routines can be comforting. Having a family dinner or movie night can help relieve or prevent stress.
- Be a role model. The child looks to you as a model for healthy behavior. Do your best to keep your own stress under control and manage it in healthy ways.
- Be careful about which television programs, books, and games that young children watch, read, and play. News broadcasts and violent shows or games can produce fears and anxiety.
- Keep your child informed of anticipated changes such as in jobs or moving.
- Spend calm, relaxed time with your children.
- Learn to listen. Listen to your child without being critical or trying to solve the problem right away. Instead work with your child to help them understand and solve what is upsetting to them.
- Build your child’s feelings of self-worth. Use encouragement and affection. Use rewards,to involve your child in activities where they can succeed.
- Allow the child opportunities to make choices and have some control in their life. The more your child feels they have control over a situation, the better their response to stress will be.
- Encourage physical activity.
- Recognize signs of unresolved stress in your child.
- Seek help or advice from a health care provider, counselor, or therapist when signs of stress do not decrease or disappear.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
Talk to your child’s provider if your child:
- Is becoming withdrawn, more unhappy, or depressed
- Is having problems in school or interacting with friends or family
- Is unable to control their behavior or anger
We can all help our children on how to cope with stress….also visit other recent posts below.
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Have you heard of the charlie charlie game which is blowing off the minds of the school going children? It is believed that it connects the player with the spirit of the dead through a ‘supernatural being.’ It is affecting the child mentally and emotionally.
The game involves the use of two pencils or pens. The player mention some words calling the name charlie and respond yes or no. So to parents, this is not just a game to have fun. Watch out!
Others were blue whale and the momo challenge which caused the death of some children.
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Hi everyone! Hope this finds you well. It’s my hope that you have journeyed the new year with high expectations. I too sail in the same boat.
I really appreciate your support to my site and it is with great honour I write this. Allow me to say that I am humbled.
If you come across these lines, I kindly request you to be one of my email follower. I promise I won’t keep pestering you with unnecessary information. I will try to make sure that the stuff in it is worth the check.
Thanks so much for supporting me in any way, may it be giving me a like, reading through my articles, sharing my work to your social sites, leaving the positive and constructive comments, following me for updates and many more.
I humbly request that you continue do it by visiting more of my posts
Don’t hesitate to make a follow below.
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It’s important to recognize and treat mental illnesses in children early on. Once mental illness develops, it becomes a regular part of your child’s behavior. This makes it more difficult to treat.
But it’s not always easy to know when your child has a serious problem. Everyday stresses can cause changes in your child’s behavior. For example, getting a new brother or sister or going to a new school may cause a child to temporarily act out. Warning signs that it might be a more serious problem include
- Problems in more than one setting (at school, at home, with peers)
- Changes in appetite or sleep
- Social withdrawal or fear of things he or she did not used to be not afraid of
- Returning to behaviors more common in younger children, such as bedwetting
- Signs of being upset, such as sadness or tearfulness
- Signs of self-destructive behavior, such as head-banging or suddenly getting hurt often
- Repeated thoughts of death
To diagnose mental health problems, the doctor or mental health specialist looks at your child’s signs and symptoms, medical history, and family history. Treatments include medicines and talk therapy.
Take action when you can make a difference. See stress and discipline in children
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The long holiday of nine months has exposed the school going girls to more dangers. It was notice that there was a rise of teenage pregnancy where high numbers were recorded.
Some have even given birth. The education cabinet secretary recently announced that all children should be allowed to go back to class regardless of their situation. This was after the schools were reopened on 4th January.
This was not a guarantee that these girls would go back to school. Some said that, the were not ready to face the victimization from the age mates.
Some people argue that by allowing the girls back to school, it is like advocating for indiscipline among teenagers and it won’t be a good example to other school going children.
What is your take on this? Kindly share as you leave a comment.
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Year 2021 prophecy
Watch for the new thing I am going to do. It is happening already- you can see it now! I will make roads through the wilderness and give you streams of water there.
Isaiah 43:19
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Today being 4th of January, the schools gates are open again not only for the old students but also for everyone who wants to transfer the child due to different reasons.
The pupils in primary school were seen much excited to be back to school. Almost 90% of the students were present. This gives a clear picture that parents were either tired of staying with the children at home or they were well prepared.
Though all the learners were having their masks on, keeping social distance was an issue. As was seen in some schools, a teacher was to handle more than 50 children.
The government issued a statement that even teenage girls that got pregnant or gave birth should be allowed to go back to school.
Kindly keep in touch through a follow or a comment. Safiri salama! (Journey well) in the year 2021.
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New Year tragedy
We were happy to usher the new year and to be part of the success. But this was never to happen to this family which has lost five members. It was so unfortunate that they were all found dead after inhaling carbon monoxide.
The father was boiling maize for sale when the rain fell. He decided to put the ‘jiko’ inside the house. Little did they know that, that would mark the end of their journey. May their souls rest in peace.
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May God be our Guide and Guard through the year 2021.
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Have a safe and a prosperous year ahead!
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As we come to the end of the year 2020, it was really a good sign as we woke up to a beautiful rainy weather after a long period of dry season. The scorching sun is now gone. This gives us a sign that even though the year was full of hard moment, God is aware and He is making a way where there is no way.
So take heart, good things are coming. Just be expectant!
For the year’s previous posts, get them here and enjoy reading great articles.
Bye bye 2020!
All the best as we prepare to usher in the New Year 2021!
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For a long time, talking about sex especially in front of children has been considered as a taboo. Questions that were asked by children like – where do children come from? Was always brushed off or given a wrong answer all together. Some parents could give answers such as: they were bought from the hospital, an aeroplane brought the baby and many more. How was your community responding to this queries? Kindly let’s know by commenting.
This behaviour has kept the children naive until their world was engulfed with online stuff. Here, they can get all the answers they want though some have been so misleading. Some children have gone further by practising what they see on social media. Others got influenced by peers or celebrities.
No matter how we denie them access to information, there is always a way out.
So, what next? It is good to let them know what to expect from their surrounding may it physical or virtual and the consequences of getting involved with some stuff.
Though they say ignorance has no defense, some of these children get to the traps unknowingly. This attitude of hiding the real life to them is getting them off guard. Having nothing they can use to their defense not even little knowledge on what would happen to them incase they find themselves in trouble.
Unfortunately, our keeping quiet does not make them not to try out what they watch and see online or in social media. I feel it is important we educate them on some issues. Here I am having a talk on sexual misuse explaining why and when not to get involved.
On sex relationship with relatives and animals( beastiality) it has been happening and it’s time we call a spade a spade. Let’s put everything in black and white. We should not continue hiding our heads in the sand while our young ones are drowning. When these issues are reported by media, we tend to ignore but the truth is our children are getting notes out of them.
I felt there is a need to sensitize them through the video…watch, like and share them to Help me reach more of them.
For more on teenage life and parenting, visit my previous posts here.
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From the previous episode, the letter continues……
…. won’t be reporting on duty today. I understand that he was arrested after getting involved in hit and run accident. He is remanded at Central Police Station.
From his friend
Things became more complicated to me. The letter was written by his friend. That meant he had given him the keys to access the office. Could it be that Bryan was involved in the Hopekins accident? He didn’t drive and this made me more confused. Could he have hired a cab? And if yes, what was his motive? I decided to rush to the police station and get the real picture of the matter.
He looked devastated. “Bryan, why did you do it? We could have solved the matter in more civilized manner!” I shouted angrily.
He didn’t bother to say a word leave alone to face me. I new my harshness won’t bear any fruits and so I had to control myself.
After sometime, he was ready to talk but the only thing he said was, ” It was an accident. I didn’t mean to do it. Please forgive me. I hope Hopekins is still alive. Kindly let him know that am sorry for what happened.”
“You almost killed him! He is now in critical condition just because of your jealousy. I had told you earlier that Hopekins is just a friend like any other classmate, but you didn’t want to believe me. Now see what you have done. He is in the hospital while you are locked in here. I don’t know whether to be at the office, hospital or police station.” I had a lot to tell him if it were not for the policeman who interrupted, ” Madam the visiting time is over. Kindly leave the station”
Bryan was sentenced to three months imprisonment. Life behind bars was not easy for him. His regrets could not save him neither his remorsefulness.
Hopekins was recuperating and after a month, he had improved and was released to go home under medication. I took him in as he needed a lot of care before he could recover completely.
It didn’t take long and after a few weeks from the hospital, he was able to undertake most of his duties. We could go to the office together. I was happy that he was able to assist in some areas now that Bryan was still at bay. We also agreed to be visiting Bryan at the prison together.
It was our first day to visit him and we didn’t know how his response would be. Immediately we were ushered in, he was called to meet us. I could tell that Hopekins was tensed.
“You have fifteen minutes only,” the officer commanded. I had stayed a while without visiting him as I had to take care of Hopekins and the office duties too. At first I didn’t recognize him. His body had really changed. I didn’t know whether to sympathize or to judge.
He looked at us without saying a word. It was obvious that he didn’t expect to see Hopekins there. We couldn’t guess his next move untill the time he broke the silence……..What did he say? Catch the next episode. I would like to hear from you. Kindly leave a comment. You can as well follow me to be sure not to miss the next episode
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Kenyan politics have been taking a new perspective as those who have been accused of misappropriately handling public office have been thrown out of the offices.
The government isn’t leaving any stone unturned on cases related to corruption. This has caused impeachment of government officers including those in higher offices.
The Kiambu governor was one of the first governors to be impeached. Later the Nairobi governor is out too.
The interesting thing is that Honourable Waititu, former Kiambu county governor, who was impeached due to corruption cases now has been cleared to run for the governor seat to replace Honourable Sonko, former Nairobi governor.
Miguna Miguna who was exiled from Kenya and now lives in Canada is also eyeing for the same seat. He said recently that he will be running for Nairobi Governor position.
Will kenyans be willing to vote these people in? Still waiting to see how things will unfold. For more posts, see them here. For upcoming insights, remember to follow.
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The year is ending and a lot has happened since the pandemic caught up with us. We have lived a live that we had never thought of but we must accept the new normal and move on.
Nevertheless, it is important to reflect on all that has happened in the course of the year. No matter the circumstances, there is always a silver lining in every cloud.
Why reflect? To identify the positives and the negatives that you have experienced. For the achievements, appreciate yourself and all those who contributed to the achievements as well as thinking on how you can make them better in the coming year.
The vices are part of our lives and they also contribute to the performance of our daily life. If it were not for the challenges that we go through, we would never ambitious of being successful.
So reflect on the hindrances or barriers that blocked your way and made you either to slow your movement or blocked it completely. What you can do to eradicate them or weaken them so that you can achieve your goals as targeted in the beginning of the year.
Come up with new strategies to improve your performance as you start the new year. Take some time to flashback and come up with the way forward.
By doing this, you will be in a better position come the new year. Hope this will help you to plan. What is your opinion on this? Kindly share it in the comment.
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From the previous episode, the letter continues……
…. won’t be reporting on duty today. I understand that he was arrested after getting involved in hit and run accident. He is remanded at Central Police Station.
From his friend
Things became more complicated to me. The letter was written by his friend. That meant he had given him the keys to access the office. Could it be that Bryan was involved in the Hopekins accident? He didn’t drive and this made me more confused. Could he have hired a cab? And if yes, what was his motive? I decided to rush to the police station and get the real picture of the matter.
He looked devastated. “Bryan, why did you do it? We could have solved the matter in more civilized manner!” I shouted angrily.
He didn’t bother to say a word leave alone to face me. I new my harshness won’t bear any fruits and so I had to control myself.
After sometime, he was ready to talk but the only thing he said was, ” It was an accident. I didn’t mean to do it. Please forgive me. I hope Hopekins is still alive. Kindly let him know that am sorry for what happened.”
“You almost killed him! He is now in critical condition just because of your jealousy. I had told you earlier that Hopekins is just a friend like any other classmate, but you didn’t want to believe me. Now see what you have done. He is in the hospital while you are locked in here. I don’t know whether to be at the office, hospital or police station.” I had a lot to tell him if it were not for the policeman who interrupted, ” Madam the visiting time is over. Kindly leave the station”
Bryan was sentenced to three months imprisonment. Life behind bars was not easy for him. His regrets could not save him neither his remorsefulness.
Hopekins was recuperating and after a month, he had improved and was released to go home under medication. I took him in as he needed a lot of care before he could recover completely.
It didn’t take long and after a few weeks from the hospital, he was able to undertake most of his duties. We could go to the office together. I was happy that he was able to assist in some areas now that Bryan was still at bay. We also agreed to be visiting Bryan at the prison together.
It was our first day to visit him and we didn’t know how his response would be. Immediately we were ushered in, he was called to meet us. I could tell that Hopekins was tensed.
“You have fifteen minutes only,” the officer commanded. I had stayed a while without visiting him as I had to take care of Hopekins and the office duties too. At first I didn’t recognize him. His body had really changed. I didn’t know whether to sympathize or to judge.
He looked at us without saying a word. It was obvious that he didn’t expect to see Hopekins there. We couldn’t guess his next move untill the time he broke the silence……..What did he say? Catch the next episode. I would like to hear from you. Kindly leave a comment. You can as well follow me to be sure not to miss the next episode! Read other posts here.
Ciscasquapro 