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Why Children disobey – Ciscasquapro

Have you ever wondered why sometimes children go a stray as they grow up? We have seen children change their behaviour as they go through different stages of life.

Sometimes I wonder why some parents complain about the behaviour of their children when they have already grown up.

As a parent, if you honestly played your role when the child was growing, then you don’t have to regret. When these children grow, they also have choices to make. They might decide to go contrary to your will or adhere to your advice.

If you failed to give them the right direction, then you have yourself to blame. It is at the foundation that the house stand. If the foundation is weak, it may affect the rest of the building no matter how beautiful it might be.

So parents, let us play our role as much as we can. The rest we leave to God.

I would love to hear how you help your child to grow to your expectations. Just leave a comment. For more posts get them here

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Mother abuses her child

Have you ever insulted your child? Has your child suffered from name calling? Have you ever thought how this could cause a great mental harm to your child? Verbal abuse should not be taken lightly. This happens more with mothers than fathers. I believe after reading the article below , you will never do it again! You can as well watch the video below.

Daisy was a grade three child. She was a quiet girl who did her work silently. She wasn’t social and most of the time she spent all alone. Let me say that she wasn’t gifted in class work. She lived with her mother who didn’t understand her at all. Most of the time is when she scolded her calling her names like cow, dog, donkey, foolish and stupid.

There was this one name she liked calling her mostly, “Ng’ombe” meaning cow. Anytime she did something wrong, she would shout at her,” Ng’ombe!”

One day , while at school, they were asked to do a quiz which she got nothing.The teacher was so annoyed as she thought the quiz was easy for everyone in class. So she shouted at her,” Kwa nini unafanya kama ng’ombe? ” meaning, ” Why are you behaving like a cow?”

Daisy walked to her desk feeling devastated. She was afraid of becoming the laughing stock of the class. Having reached where she usually sat, she covered her face using her sweater and cried bitterly.

It was during the creative lesson one afternoon when the teacher issued the learners with plain papers. Then she told them, ” On this paper, draw anything you may think of. Make your picture as attractive as you can.”

Every learner was excited to have the lesson. They enjoyed the creative writing and after some time the teacher collected the papers for analysis.

When she was going through the work, she came across this one paper. On it, a cow with a human head was drawn! To her amazement, the paper belonged to Daisy. Before the class could leave for break, she requested Daisy to be left behind.

” Why did you draw such an animal? I haven’t seen such a creature!” she asked Daisy. Daisy looked at her and started crying. It took a long time before the teacher could convince her to talk. Finally, she was ready to let it out.

” My mother always calls me a cow anytime I do a mistake. I have never known I am one until you asked me why I was behaving like one! When you asked as to draw, I tried to imagine how I looked like in the eyes of my mother and that’s what I came out with.” she narrated.

The teacher was very sorry and remorseful. She apologized to Daisy and after some talk with her, she decided to invite the mother to come to school where they talked at length about the issue. They swallowed their pride by apologizing to Daisy and promised that it wouldn’t happen again.

This was the beginning of a new Daisy! Everything seemed to change beyond expectations. Her performance improved as her self esteem too. She became the peer leader in upper classes and participated in most of the school activities. What a good ending!

From the above we can all see what insults and verbal abuse can do to our children. Let’s all refrain from calling our children names, insulting and scolding unnecessarily. This may cause mental challenges in our children leaving them stressed. As we discipline and make them responsible , it is always good to use kind words. We should avoid damaging their self esteem as this may bring a great harm to their lives.

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How to know when your child is stressed

Children also get stressed

The challenges that have come with the corona virus are not only being experienced by adult but children are not spared too. Children have been suffering silently without parents’ knowledge.

Childhood stress can be present in any setting that requires the child to adapt or change. Stress may be caused by positive changes, such as starting a new activity, but it is most commonly linked with negative changes such as illness or death in the family.

You can help your child by learning to recognize the signs of stress and teaching your child healthy ways to deal with it.

Stress may be a response to a negative change in a child’s life. In small amounts, stress can be good. But, excessive stress can affect the way a child thinks, acts, and feels.

Children learn how to respond to stress as they grow and develop. Many stressful events that an adult can manage will cause stress in a child. As a result, even small changes can impact a child’s feelings of safety and security.

Pain, injury, illness, and other changes are stressors for children. Stressors may include:

  • Worrying about schoolwork or grades
  • Juggling responsibilities, such as school and work or sports
  • Problems with friends, bullying, or peer group pressures
  • Changing schools, moving, or dealing with housing problems or homelessness
  • Having negative thoughts about themselves
  • Going through body changes, in both boys and girls
  • Seeing parents go through a divorce or separation
  • Money problems in the family
  • Living in an unsafe home or neighborhood

SIGNS OF UNRESOLVED STRESS IN CHILDREN

Children may not recognize that they are stressed. New or worsening symptoms may lead parents to suspect an increased stress level is present.

Physical symptoms can include:

  • Decreased appetite, other changes in eating habits
  • Headache
  • New or recurrent bedwetting
  • Nightmares
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Upset stomach or vague stomach pain
  • Other physical symptoms with no physical illness

Emotional or behavioral symptoms may include:

  • Anxiety, worry
  • Not able to relax
  • New or recurring fears (fear of the dark, fear of being alone, fear of strangers)
  • Clinging, unwilling to let you out of sight
  • Anger, crying, whining
  • Not able to control emotions
  • Aggressive or stubborn behavior
  • Going back to behaviors present at a younger age
  • Doesn’t want to participate in family or school activities

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP

Parents can help children respond to stress in healthy ways. Following are some tips:

  • Provide a safe, secure, and dependable home.
  • Family routines can be comforting. Having a family dinner or movie night can help relieve or prevent stress.
  • Be a role model. The child looks to you as a model for healthy behavior. Do your best to keep your own stress under control and manage it in healthy ways.
  • Be careful about which television programs, books, and games that young children watch, read, and play. News broadcasts and violent shows or games can produce fears and anxiety.
  • Keep your child informed of anticipated changes such as in jobs or moving.
  • Spend calm, relaxed time with your children.
  • Learn to listen. Listen to your child without being critical or trying to solve the problem right away. Instead work with your child to help them understand and solve what is upsetting to them.
  • Build your child’s feelings of self-worth. Use encouragement and affection. Use rewards,to involve your child in activities where they can succeed.
  • Allow the child opportunities to make choices and have some control in their life. The more your child feels they have control over a situation, the better their response to stress will be.
  • Encourage physical activity.
  • Recognize signs of unresolved stress in your child.
  • Seek help or advice from a health care provider, counselor, or therapist when signs of stress do not decrease or disappear.

WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR

Talk to your child’s provider if your child:

  • Is becoming withdrawn, more unhappy, or depressed
  • Is having problems in school or interacting with friends or family
  • Is unable to control their behavior or anger

We can all help our children on how to cope with stress….also visit other posts here

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The Parents in the making – Ciscas

The life cycle is very interesting. It keeps changing it’s form from time to time. Today you are a baby, tomorrow you become a teenager and the day after, all responsibilities are on your shoulder as you take up roles of a parent. Sometimes it may be tough as this post narates

This is also happening with the children we are raising. We should always put in mind that, we are moulding tomorrow’s parents. The question is: What kind of parents are we moulding? Will they manage to handle their responsibilities when that time comes?

As we continue doing all what is possible to bring up our children, Let’s remember tomorrow will be their turn to show what their parents made them to be. It is the wish of every parent to be mentioned as a role model in their children’s life. Due to this, it is important we do our part the best way we can to make sure we bring out an outstanding future parent. You can also see how to relate with them here. Let’s try to make the best pots that won’t leak before they start cooking. All the best ! ..… What’s your opinion on this?…. kindly leave a comment below. More posts for you here …if you follow, I will appreciate.

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Challenges dealing with teenagers..watch this.

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Why parents should mind some of their behaviours when with children.

Many times we tend to ignore the presence of children when we are discussing our parents-related issues. In the modern community, parents talk some sensitive issues and they assume that children are understanding nothing or they are not interested.

As much as we are eager to teach our children morals and values, they also learn a lot from what they see us parents doing. Children learn much through observation and parents should mind their behaviour when addressing to some issues especially if the children are with them. Let’s look at this scenario:

John was driving home accompanied by his 4year old child. While he was driving, his boy was playing a game using his phone. There was high traffic and everyone was struggling to get home before dark. As every market has a mad man, some drivers find it difficult to practise patience, so one driver drove past John using the wrong side of the road. He almost hit John’s car as he squeezed his car to find way out. When John so that, he shouted in anger, ” Stupid you mad man!” At all this time, his boy was busy playing with his father’s phone. After driving for a half an hour, another driver pulled out of the traffic trying to overlap. John was busy setting his radio and so he did not notice it. It wasn’t long before he was interrupted by his boy. ” Dad Dad! Look at that stupid mad man what he is doing over there.!” John was surprised not to say a word. He had not realized that he had become a perfect teacher to his boy until he heard it. He wondered what to tell the boy now that those were the same words he had used previously. He pretended to be busy but the son made sure that the father got the message. After realizing that the boy could not stop insisting, he said, “Leave him alone. Just continue with your game.” John continued with his journey but disturbed. He had realized that was not the best parent to emulate. He had Learnt his lesson and he decided to make a change in his character for the sake of his son.

a) If it were you what would you have done?
b) What type of character is your child getting from you?

So next time you act abnormally, take precaution. Your child may make the best duplicate out of you. Parents let’s try to be role models to our children. This will make it easier for us to guide their behaviour.